How to write an ad that works

Have you discovered everyone does not want health and wealth after all? Not enough to do anything about it, anyway? Here’s for you.

One of the first assignments in the Haystack Telecourse starting THIS Wed eve is this:

Come up with your [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][warning: jargon coming] unique selling proposition. That’s what sets you apart from the competition if there is any – it’s what makes your product or business must have.


1. Use language a 13-year old can understand (unless you are marketing to a community, e.g. MDs, who already understand jargon or technical terms you want to use).

2. Create tension and a sense of urgency in the mind of the reader or listener. (So they buy within your lifetime 🙂

Not easy. But then, sales is not easy, especially with so much stuff being sold out there 24/7. That’s why working this up gives you a leg up.

Tip #1: Think of something you’ve bought in the last year or two that you didn’t expect to buy. Not a staple, but something extraordinary, not cheap. Something you didn’t expect to invest in. What made you buy it?

Tip #2: brainstorm about why you love about your business or product. Several pages even, things that make it desirable and special to YOU. Your USP will be that one pithy phrase you boil that all down to.

Remember: others don’t care that you think your product or business is grand. So skip that. By now we’ve all learned what we think doesn’t sell the product or business, yes?

Besides, everyone else says their product is the greatest thing since sliced bread. So that’s not unique, see?

Try it. Start writing without regard to grammar, spelling, or form. Just tell why you love your business or product and what makes it so special to YOU. Sleep on it.

Next day or two, whittle down those three pages to a few sentences; then to a phrase or two. Now ask yourself:

1. Is it unique? Can anyone else say the same thing?
2. Can a 13 year old understand it?
3. Does it create a sense of urgency in the mind of the reader or listener?

If you’re not sure, read it to someone and see how they react. (Probably not your upline – someone not connected with your business.)

Or post it here.


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About the author

Kim Klaver


  • I speak from experience.

    My grandfather died of cancer. My 32 year-old friend died of leukemia. Then my father died of cancer after being being on oxygen for eight years.

    Well, a 75 year-old friend of mine turned her health around after changing her diet and adding whole-food nutritional supplements to her daily routine. She’s now 88 years old.

    No one had to sell me on the idea that nutrition matters and makes a difference in your health. So now I take whole-food multis and yes, market them too.

    My product is for people who know they don’t eat right and want damage control, so they’re not sick and disabled when they get older, like what happened to my dad.

    Paul Eilers

  • Are you wondering if you’re doing enough to keep you in the best of shape as you get older, like I was? Do you find that you’re not getting as much fruits and veggies as they say you should? I found a new whole food multi (that I’m now selling) that makes up for all I wasn’t getting before.

    I’m a Boomer and well beyond the age where how well I took care of myself began to show. Even though I was exercising, I had some lost ground to make up. Now I know I’m eating right and I’m not worried about it anymore.

    Do you know anyone who might like to know about a food supplement like that?

    Dave C

  • I can confidently say “This takes the bad stuff out, puts the good stuff in, and does it fast and powerfully.” My satisfied customers couldn’t agree more, so now I love knowing that I’m really helping people.

    Achiever Karen

  • Paul and Dave:

    Try and whittle it down to a phrase or two.

    Karen: I’d bet there are other people marketing other products that could say the same thing. Think?

    So I don’t know how unique that is. Remember truth by itself doesn’t sell. 🙂 But if this works for you, go with it.

  • Well Kim, my quandry is this: We are supposed to say something unique, which in my case is the Quantum Physics behind these products. But that’s not a term an average 13 year old would use. So that means I have to simplify that action into ‘fast and powerfully’.

    And no, I don’t think that most other products can say the same thing because I’ve personally tried many supplements and my customers have also tried many supplements. We’ve all been so impressed with how quickly everyone’s noticing positive changes, due to the Quantum Physics that provides the energy in the products — which is what sets them apart from other supplements out there.

    So where do I go from here? KO

  • Karen – you write
    “We are supposed to say something unique, which in my case is the Quantum Physics behind these products.”

    You may think that’s unique but that is an explanation, not a result. Most customers don’t care what proprietary science or technicalities explains the results. You might, but a customer doesn’t care about that. Science doesn’t sell to most of us.

    It’s like selling a Ferrari by describing the engine characteristics in words most people don’t understand. Most buy the car for the look and the speed.

    What’s unique about the Ferrari may be what is unique about your product – for people who want fast results – immediately – instead of waiting for weeks.

    That sounds like something a normal person might be interested in. Think?

    You in the Haystack class where this is the first assignment?

  • Thanks for your explanation Kim — it makes sense.

    I’ll stop asking for your advice on this subject because I’m not signed up for the course. If I had the available funds, I’d be there. I won’t go into an explanation because that’s my own business.

    Thanks again…KO

  • Karen,

    Don’t give up so easily. We are here to help you.

    I am also very science minded and it took me 3 years to learn to not talk about the science. Most people are not in the least bit interested in the science. When it’s science is something you’re passionate about, its hard not to lead with it. My experience has been leading with science doesn’t work.

    I think you hit on something in one of your comments. You said something about personally taking many different supplements. Drawing from your personal experience, what didn’t happen that you expected to happen? What happened to you personally on these supplements that didn’t happen with the others?

    Tell me your experience.

  • Most people know that it is important to eat fruits and veggies every day. It’s a hot topic on the news and talk shows lately. Even famous doctors are beginning to talk about the health benefits and preventative value of eating right every day (e.g. Dr. Oz). So there’s nothing “unique” there.

    My relatively unique position is that, while I KNOW what I should do to be healthy, I can’t always manage to pull it off. I mean, I will eat fruits and veggies, but hate to cut them up. If someone else does it for me, I’ll gladly eat them. Otherwise, all my well-intentioned healthy shopping ends up in the trash. I guess that makes me a “health nut wannabe” so I need something to give me the benefits of good eating without doing all the work. I am not going to be able to impress anyone with my UNexemplary behavior so I’ll confess my “normalness” plus the desire to get the right nutrition, and hopefully someone else will relate to that.

    I market a daily whole food multi for people who know they should eat more fruits and veggies but can’t always manage to pull it off. Even on days when I don’t feel like cutting them up, at least I know I’ve put something healthy into my mouth. Know anyone who might like to know about a product like that?

  • First try:

    My family doesn’t eat enough fruits and veggies. We take this whole food supplement, that I sell, made from fruits, veggies and more but no synthetic ingredients, added sugar, fillers, additives or fiber because these are cheap and take up room where the really good stuff should be. I’m not cheap but I don’t want us to end up with just expensive urine from vitamins.


  • Sue – something unique about yours is “when you can’t eat right…but know you should…”

    Robin – one unique thing there for you is you have something for people who didn’t realize their vitamins might just make their urine expensive.

    These are all beginnings where you are focusing on the OTHER person’s interests – not yours or characteristics or the science of your great product, which no one else cares about, since everyone says THEIRS is the greatest.

  • Hi Kim,

    I market a product for people who have family members that screw up their face at the thought of having to eat fruit and vegetables, and like me they wished there was something they could give them right now to change all that.

    Do you know anyone who might like to know about a product like that?

  • I think with MLM, advertising is not the way to go. It’s all about the distribution of products via the business plan. I have known people who have referred many people into their business but instead of working with these people to create leads and new business they focus on sales and recruiting more people…. it’s crazy to me. Shouldn’t we get back to basics? Each person we sponsor should create at least 25 people into your group and lots of sales. Advertising and such is just part of the beast that is giving MLM a bad name. Most people just don’t know what to do and it’s definitely not advertising.

  • Hi Adam

    I read your post with interest, I think I understand where you are coming from however I find it hard to agree with you completely.

    How does everyone we sponsor ‘create’ 25 people into your group?

    Even if we are going to assume they have a warm market, we can’t assume that 25 of the people in their warm market will be interested in their product. And even if 25 people will be interested, they will still have to promote their business to these contacts.

    Network Marketing at the end of the day is a profession with 2 main skills needed to achieve long term success in it

    1. Networking: The ability to build and nurture relationships with others and

    2. Marketing: The ability to attract potential clients to you with a goal of getting their business.

    So when you say get back to basics I hope you’re not saying where a few are getting many others to frontload with the ‘anybody can do it’ slogan at opportunity meetings that gave the industry a bad name in the first place as we had people who lacked the ability to network or market going out and alienating their friends in the bid to build a business.

    I’m glad that Kim is helping to bring professionalism to the industry. Hopefully this way we will have more network marketing professionals and fewer network marketing junkies and the industry can gain some respectability.

    Thats my tupence.

    DJ Sobanjo

  • Millions of people worldwide raise funds every year, through running events etc, in hopes of finding a ‘cure’ for breast cancer. However, research does take time and currently 1 in 8 women are still afflicted by breast cancer and their lives are changed forever. Hopefully one day there will be a cure.

    In the meantime, I market a product that may help women find a ‘lump’ even before their doctor or a mammogram, and through the various marketing effots alone it advocates the benefits of breast awareness and early detection, and may even change the life of someone you love. Do you know of anyone who has had breast cancer?

    E. MacDonald

  • My company is introducing a product for people who want a quick way to get the health benefits of fruit and vegetables, without having to eat truckloads of it, like I did.

    Do you know anyone who might like to know about a product like that?

  • Hi DJ thanks for taking an interest in what I was saying.

    To create at least 25 members from each new recruit you simply sponsor them and train them. Help them refer 4 to 8 people but the trick is to only allow them to refer 2 until they are fully trained.

    Lets say you help them build a business of 8. You help them to refer 2 and start building a line of sponsorship of 2 to 6 deep. It’s much easier to build a line of sponsorship then referring them all by yourself across the front line.

    Then you just duplicate that same process. It can be as simple or as complicated as you like but simple is best.

    There are several ways to support and sponsor your referrals. I really like the way Jason Wakefield explains it in the new RevolutionMLM ebook at Actually I taught him some techniques and he has just taken it to another even simpler and more effective level. He actually shows quite clearly how to create at least 26 members with each member referred.

    The term ‘sponsor’ can also mean that you are responsible for them and their success in the business. If you ‘sponsor’ a child in Africa for some food and education you would actually pay the way for their monthly food bill and support their education. I look at mlm the same way especially for the newbies.


  • I would be much obliged for any feedback:

    I consult people who want health for their body and their mind, simply… especially with busy lives and all the conflicting information we read, want to know how to be healthy and then go beyond that… like I do.

    Last year I was diagnosed with a cancer and after finally getting some good alternative treatment, I healed. Although grateful, I found that that was not enough. One of the original reasons for my disease was that I have things in my life that I want to accomplish that I was not. I was stressed.

    Then I learned how use my new health. I had often heard of peole who had a traumatic event in their lives then turned that around to do something big or different such as travel, learn, help others, or that had more to do with than themselves — to have inspiration.

    Do you know anyone who would like to know about a service like that?

    Thanks, Bridget

  • Hi Bridget,

    This may not encompass everything you do but you are welcome to modify it as required.

    “I provide a service for people who are totally stressed out and know that if they don’t do something soon then a potential health disaster is just waiting around the corner, like what happened to me.

    Do you know anyone who might like to know about a service like that?”

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