"Please don’t drag me into the backseat on the first date," she pleaded…

So say the ladies (and even a few gents) when the salesman comes calling or makes the pitch – be it for that wonderful product, or a new business opportunity.

It might be worth listening – Women are 80% of everyone our industry.

Is anyone in the front of the room listening? Hello..!!???

Research on how women buy tells us this very thing…and we must be the last to know, think?

According to Martha Barletta, researcher and writer on women’s buying habits,

“Sales people are trained to try to close the sale in the initial meeting.
That may work with men, because they have a faster decision process, and frankly, shooting from the hip, making decisions on the spot is one way they communicate their autonomy and decisiveness – the ‘cowboy factor.’

But women are marksmen, not cowboys – and if you rush them or push them while they’re trying to zero in on what they want, all you’re going to do is irritate them.”

Instead, women, she writes,

“want to consider, compare and talk it over with trusted advisors. It’s not enough for the product or service to meet her needs; it must be the best way to meet her needs…I’d advise you to refocus your attention on what you’re going to do to follow up, instead of pushing too hard right away. Otherwise, she will start to distrust your motives…”
“Marketing to Women”
Martha Barletta, 2003

Is anyone in your company listening? Or are the trainers still fixated on telling you to close that poor woman on the first date and then gloat to everyone how easy it was?

What’s your experience? Use the Comments below. Sounds dreadful, actually, doesn’t it, to be “closed”?

Learn to talk and act like a woman again

| | | |

About the author

Kim Klaver


  • Kim I’m so glad you’re writing about women!! I have often felt suffocated within the network marketing industry by the more masculine approach which has always turned me off.

    I loved what you said in your newsletter “Women don’t talk about “exploding” things, including a business.” !!! This is so true for me!! the other once I could never stand was the word “killer” to describe a great business or product…oy vey, who wants that??!!

  • Mashubi:

    Great that you are of the same mind. I think “they know not what they do” – if they did, they’d stop.

    One solution is just to have separate events and sales trainings for those of us who don’t like exploding things or being dragged into things the first time. You know, the women who feel like we do.



  • Kim, thanks for firing me up!

    You’ve inspired me to re-write a number of my marketing messages. Right now, I’m testing them parallel and it’s really a hoot to get the feedback.

    The softer (womanly) approach is loved by women, and not understood at all by the guys.

    The traditional one is “ok” with the women, but doesn’t speak to them like the softer one. When asked to be specific, the women have a hard time putting it into words. Can you tell just how brainwashed we’ve become?

    I’ve been saying that while we’ve learned the “business language” taught by the guys, it’s only stuck in our heads, not our hearts.

    As women, our hearts rule, and that is the basic difference.

    We don’t explode things, we nurture and grow things.

    We don’t kill… we heal.

    We may fierce competitors, but winning the game at any cost isn’t our most important mission. We’re just as likely to cheer for others and help them get over the finish line too.

    Let’s keep this revolution moving!
    Shari Thomas
    Forest Grove OR

  • Thanks, Shari!

    Indeed keep the revolution moving and spreading. It doesn’t take that many of us.

    “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful
    people can change the world. Indeed, it
    is the only thing that ever has.”

    Margaret Mead

    As we tease out the “boy talk” we can replace it, put back in the “girl talk” and girl attitudes, and perhaps do better going back to being authentic the way we were. And they can do their thing their way. We’ll do it our way.

    What else can we add to these:

    Boys explode things; girls pick up the pieces.

    Boys talk about the techie and science of a product; women like to talk to someone using it to see how it’s helping solve the problem.

    Boys fixate on winning; girls like to help others get there, too, right along with themselves. Think who cheers for both sides during the girls’ 3rd grade basketball games.

    What are some of the other differences we can use to change the marketing approaches and language in sales training for us?

Leave a Comment