“What’s wrong with the usual type of motivational talk?” asks the Harvard Business Review in its December issue (subscription only). Here’s the juicy part.
“Motivational speeches are about making people feel good about themselves and enthusiastic about where they can go. But in my experience, it doesn’t work to paint a rosy picture and say ‘Doesn’t it look great over there?…'”
So says Larry Winget, personal development “pitbull” who consults for Fortune 500 firms such as IBM, Merck, and McDonalds. He adds:
“You’ve got to be sick and tired of things the way they are before you can change…”
Here’s what else he tells his packed audiences:
“I’m tired of trying to make you happy and convince you to be better. If you don’t want to get better, get out of everybody else’s way.”
He refuses to let his listeners pass on any blame for the results they’re getting:
“Your poor business results,” he says, “are your own fault. You created them. You can blame the customer, Wal-Mart, the economy, the Republicans, the Democrats, whoever you want. But the bottom line is, somebody’s successful in your industry, and if they can do it, you can do it.”
Not that you’d do it the same way as someone else of course, but that you could get results if you decide you REALLY want to get better.
There are days when this sort of advice kick-butt advice gets people off the dime.
Your thoughts?
The ‘Rock Bottom’ idea works, but I’m not sure about the “It’s your fault.” part. We often turn that in it “It’s *all* my fault”. For a start,a lot of the mistakes we make happen unconsciously. Secondly, there are *many* reasons why things don’t work out. We are too quick to attribute ‘failure’ to a single cause. Things are rarely that simple.
Hi Kim:
I agree with Larry that alot of motivational seminars have evolved into feel good talks and the only change that comes out of those type of seminars is the money that changes from the attendee’s hand to the speaker’s hand. So how much are you willing to spend to have someone make you feel good about yourself for a few hours, a day or 2 or 3?
Larry’s approach is about getting real and taking responsibility for your business which is rare these days. His style will make people uncomfortable for sure but hopefully they will take time for some self-inspection and come away with a moment of clarity, a paradigm shift, a new set of achieveable goals.
When I first read the quote I thought of Randy Gage and his new book Why You’re DUMB, SICK and BROKE. Check it out at randygage.com Randy holds nothing back to get his point across that most people are stuck living a life of quiet desperation because they lack the ability to apply critical thinking.
As Jim Rohn has said For things to change, you have to change.
Create A Great Day
Taking responsibility, full responsibility, is empowering in every arena of life, for me…
Carolyn
Carolyn, I agree, it is empowering to take responsibility for yourself in all areas of your life.
It all comes down to intention and action. Your intention must be to succeed, and then you have to act on that intention and make things happen for yourself.
Larry is right. Part of making things happen is figuring out the “game” – how are others successful and how can you incorporate those elements into your approach to business? All life is a learning curve, you just have to be willing to study. . .
You need a positive attitude, some faith in what you’re about, and good intentions towards your business and other people. You have to have some life force, some spark, a go-getter, I’m-not-a-quitter mentality. Without these things, you won’t be successful in business or life in general. . .
Cheers,
Rani
Ah, a reminder of my days in the 1960’s when this quote from Paine was the anthem: “Lead, follow, or get out of the way.”
There was no room for whiners back then – or now – in any of life’s ventures……
Lynn
http://growolderbetter.com
Kim, maybe the waaaaaa waaaaaa is venting and the person doesn’t really want to change. I have vented about “not enough time”, “not enough know-how”, “not enough leads” enough times to know when its venting. My recognizing it as “venting” is as important as my actually realizing I want to change…and do it.
Donna
There is a fine line between taking responsibility and self blame. Taking responsibility clears the way for action. Self blame is paralyzing and unproductive. I agree with Larry that there are too many factors that contribute to situations to narrow it down to just one. However, if we stay in action as we take responsiblity, it helps to define what the major contributing factors to the situation are. Maybe, some of it is really not our fault; but we still have to be responsible for what we create in our life regardless if it was on purpose or not.
I have found, that for the most part, not being awake or aware in our own life because we do not want to be responsible is the main reason things do not turn out the way we would prefer.
Human nature is that we avoid responsiblity and reality at all costs. A visit to the land of Make Believe can provide some comfort and release during times of transition or stress. However, if we choose to live there, we also suffer the consequences.
Thank you or your clarity and purpose Chanel. Your comments are very refreshing. Again, thank you!!! Noah Gabriel
The single biggest problem facing the world (not just the US) today is lack of personal responsibility/accountability. People have been duped into believing it’s not their fault. The progression then moves on to the Victim Mentality. Now, we’re all victims. Therefore, we deserve something. We wait for our compensation that is due us. This creates laziness and I could go on and about all the negative effects lack of responsibility leads. It’s poison infects all aspects of life.
It is our fault. We are responsible for where we are in life and what happens to us. What we think, we become. What we become, we attract. What we fail to take responsibility, for robs us. It controls us, it imprisons us. The only way to break that bondage is to accept responsibility, learn from the situation and take action to correct it. It’s your life, what are you going to do with it?
I relinquish the soapbox.
-Connelly
Wow! What great postings and just when I need them AND am listening.
For me, not taking responsibility for whatever and drifting into the “victim mentality” is new, insidious, and becomes a habit.
And I know how to break a habit.
Its ACTION.
Thanks for all of you.
Look the answer for me is simple. You can beat yourself up on why your not successful. If you are not a “natural born successful thinker” by which you do things “right almost all the time—and believe me i have seen these type of people and they become super successful and it is as natural for them as failure “thinking is for the rest of us. Every thing in this world is based on mathematics when it comes to success. Meaning that you must run the numbers and ignore the “failure voices” in your head. If you had a friend that lied to you, cheated you, deceived you, betrayed you—would you keep that person your friend? I think not—So get rid of the voices in your head that do those things to you, that steal your “dreams”. I have and it feels wonderfull.