Staying stuck in the past may be dangerous to your mental health.
Condoleeza Rice, U.S. Sec’y of State, addressed the opening of the World Economic Forum at Davos this last week. During her talk, she commented that the US ‘is said not to deal fully with its past’.
“To which I say,” she quipped, “good for us. Too much dwelling on history can become a prison.”
Amen, sister. True among nations and personal friends. Who hasn’t learned that neither friends nor enemies are permanent?
Jeff Jarvis notes that politically, Rice’s thinking puts the line not between differences like east and west (translation: their beliefs versus ours, yours versus mine), but between past and future. This too is a good thing. It means there is hope for change as situations and beliefs change.
Here’s how this perspective might work for us.
Say you find yourself frustrated or mad because the other person doesn’t see it your way. They won’t buy your product. They won’t do the business.
It’s because they have different beliefs from yours. East versus west. Aunt Henrietta’s ideas versus yours about what to eat or for whom to vote. But the past doesn’t equal the future.
The good news is that everyone DOES want certain things – health, some financial security, more time for themselves, a little less hardship, more happiness. That’s true regardless of their beliefs. And that’s where there’s hope. Everyone’s looking to improve their lot somehow.
Our job is 1)to clearly describe a problem we’ve had, why it mattered so much to us, and 2)how we’ve solved (or are solving) it. (It’s not telling others why it should matter to them – that’s preaching.) They’ll be drawn in if your problem is also high on their list.
Second hurdle remember, we’re resolving the problem based on beliefs we have. E.g. use supplements for better health, or start a business of one’s own for that extra money. Even if others have a similar problem, they might want to solve it in another way, at least right now.
As a direct marketer, we need to ask for folks where the problem and the type of solution you’ve found are in sync with their world view. And if it isn’t right now – don’t burn any bridges. The past is not the future.
Think?
Very well said! Many people think if they just “work on” someone long enough, they will finally “get it” but what they don’t realize is doing that is killing the relationship. Just like when people tell me “their people” aren’t doing anything, I have a simple solution, “Find more people!” And as you were sort of pointing out, over time, people can change. I know about a year to a year and a half ago someone I know had asked me about my business. I told them a little bit about it and they decided it was not really something they thought they would be interested in. I posted a blog update last night and this same person read it and expressed interest in my business again. This happens to be someone I went to high school with… I point this out because I share these same philosophies. I am never a hard sell. If they don’t want it for themselves, I am not in the business of convincing anyone.
As you have said before, Kim, it depends how high up on a person’s list a particular problem is, whether they want to resolve it now, soon, or just whine about it.
Our job as networkers is to educate people, not persuade them, to offer information so that when they choose to move the problem up higher on the list, and eventually take action, they know we can help.
If we have to convince someone to buy or join the first time, we will have to convince them all along the way.
I like this post Kim.
It’s a great reminder that we have to let people choose what works well for them at the time and who know’s maybe they’ll come back or send someone your way that is a great fit.
Brenda
Kim I’ve learned what matters to me doesn’t matter as much for someone else, at least not right now.
Example, my sister never sleeps well but didn’t want to try what had helped me. I just let it go and forgot all about it. Then a few weeks ago when we were in Texas she asked for information. I left her a months supply to test and see if it helps.
I asked her why she wanted to try it now, she said it was because I didn’t hound her about it and gave her time to think about it. Great, I didn’t even know she was thinking about it.
No now doesn’t mean no forever, but I have to respect the no.
Robin
http://www.robin.uptownnaturals.com