With all due respect, this is the wrong message, Hilton

In an email sent out to his list yesterday, my old friend Hilton Johnson answers a question posed by Valerie:

“What do you say when a woman says she has to ask
her husband before buying products or joining a business?”

Good question. However, this time, maybe bad answer. He says:

“Well, first of all Valerie, nobody likes to hear that after giving a
complete presentation to a prospect. If this “stall’ does come up
though, it means either one of two things is going on:

1. The prospect is either not sold on you, your products or
your business.


2. The woman really does have to speak with her husband
before making a final decision.”

No problem so far. But then, he says that if it’s number 1 up there…

“If the prospect is not sold on your offer and is just using this as
an excuse to get rid of you, it means you probably have a weak

You can easily solve that problem by owning and learning the
program you can buy from us (he names it).”

Read that again:

“If the prospect is not sold on your offer and is just using this as
an excuse to get rid of you, it means you probably have a weak

While this is of course a possibility, the approach makes a very big and flawed assumption: that EVERYONE would buy if YOU just made the right presentation. So many trainers and sales people teach this.


That response perpetuates that it’s all about persuasion and mind control, a la Joyner and Vitale and legions of others. But it isn’t. Is it? Are we just all manipulators then, is that it?

No amount of persuasion will make me buy a PC if I really love my Macs. No amount of persuation will make me buy the best golf clubs on the planet if I don’t play golf. No amount of persuasion will make a size 7 shoe fit her size 9 foot.

And no sales pitch I can imagine will get me to eat regular when I prefer organic.

Aren’t we creatures of choice? Would we really want a world where we are not allowed our preferences and to love the things we love?

So how about this answer:

It might be your presentation. I’d want to see it. BUT…
There might not be a match between your offer and what Valerie needs or wants right now. Maybe she knows someone and if not, keep looking – for a better match.


About the author

Kim Klaver


  • Thank you for that common sense answer. I also was an opportunity seeker, but had no interest in nutritional products. No amount of presausion nor the perfect presenation could change that fact. When a opportunity more in line with what I wanted came my way, it was from a 18 yr. old. who could not fully explain his comp. plan or product, but I signed up anyway, because it was what I was looking for and was a perfect complement to my insurance business.

  • Bravo, Kim – This is why I have a list of recommended “coaches” that has shortened to just 4. I see HJ has a class tomorrow on being a “Professional Health Coach” to drive your business and set you apart – maybe there’s a degree attached, don’t know :-). The only title I seek to duplicate is genuine person who looks for matches and creates personal ambassadors along the way.

  • While listening to the Professional Health Coach Class, I read your blog. And I’m just offered to follow a health coaching course for one year (or not) Ok, I hung up.

    Yesterday, I’ve listened to your cd, the new new MLM’er. I’m putting that on, once again right now. And I’ll spend some time during the weekend to work out my scripts and start calling next week.

    I’ll be back, soon.

  • Ah, Kim… it’s wonderful to see that we’re still singing the same songs, in perfect tune! 🙂

    Persuasion and mind control: what a tired old crock it really is. And what an insult to a prospect’s intelligence. (Not to mention the questions it raises about one’s own integrity.)

    Bravo! Keep the good things coming!

    John Counsel
    CEO and Founder
    The Profit Clinic MLM Success Centre

  • Kim – you often mention Christ and how 2000 years later, from 12, there are untold millions of followers. He used persuasion, as did Paul when creating rapport with King Agrippa – whose response was – “you almost persuaded me”.

    To say it doesn’t work or is wrong is like throwing the baby out with the bath water.

    Many people don’t know it’s a fit because they are hung up on security vs the freedom they could experience. They don’t want to even consider what you offer because they think they’re doing as good as they can given the circumstances.

    Our job as networkers is to persuade them that security isn’t freedom at all (that’s why prison is often referred to as maximum security).

    As a networker works to show you products or a business concept, they are working hard to open your eyes to see how this could keep you from the “prison” of sickness (products) or living from paycheck to paycheck (business).

    So bottom line, many don’t know it could be a fit until they are persuaded otherwise. We are here to teach them by opening their eyes and minds.

  • Thanks all for your good words.

    And to Dave: I believe there are many mismatches, where ‘persuasion’ ends up being nagging and soon, bordering on persecution because the person doesn’t want it.

    If I don’t play golf, and prefer tennis, I don’t want someone to “persuade” me or push me to play golf. I just don’t want to spend my time with someone like that.

    The eyes to be opened must be those that are ready to be opened, not those you have to pry open. That’s both for the good of the pryer, so they don’t spend their time doing that, and for the one whose eyes are closed to something, and who want to keep them that way, for the thing being offered.

    We have free choice in the U.S. and too much persuasion gets to be viewed as harassment and ends up with no place to go for Christmas dinner.

    If they’re open to something new, yes. But if they’re not, keep going. And respect their wishes. that’s what I would want.



  • Hey Kim,

    You say that HJ is making a big and flawed assumption. Is it really so ?
    Or it is YOUR assumption of what he meant in that short sentence. And if HJ is truly an old friend of yours, why addressing your assumed differences with him in such a public format ? What am I not getting ?

    Marc Gauthier

  • If Hilton's intent was waht you say thenI agree that he is wrong. The idea that everyone is a prospect for every product is a very big problem in network marketing and underlies some of it poor image.

    If a product is a solution to a problem, then the customer must have the problem first! If they don't then they don't need your product.

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