In a New York Times piece today entitled, “For Rutgers Women, Wisdom Is a Victory on a Path to Maturity,” we learn how a group of college women went from “naïve and meek” to learning how to become victorious and mature.
Rutgers students are pretty special – very few get in.. This story is about how a small group of them – the women’s basketball team – evolved and matured…(Stringer is the basketball coach referred to below.)
They had been high school prima donnas, used to having even their mistakes praised. Now, nothing was right. Britany Ray recalled Stringer’s reaction after she told her, with some pride, how she had taken 300 shots after practice, per Stringer’s instructions. “She said, ‘Why didn’t you take more than that?’ ” Ray said. “ ‘You’re only doing the minimum. Great players always surpass expectations of their coaches.’ ”
And so it went: October. November. December. January. At one point in the season, Stringer kicked the players out of their plush, modern locker room and made them dress in the hallway. She told the attendant who normally washes the practice uniforms not to do so. The uniforms smelled like the way the team was playing at the time.
As the players told their Stringer stories Thursday, I realized, once again, that this was the essence of the college experience: evolution and maturity. Now, on the eve of the Final Four, the freshmen know that what they had perceived as anger, even hatred, toward them was really much-needed mental conditioning for a group Stringer once described as naïve and meek….-New York Times (PDF)
Countless women and men networkers are discouraged and depressed by their inability to make money in the business. Most have no idea of the mental conditioning, training and practice that is required to make ANY sales (after mom.)
Their sales skills are undeveloped (“I called seven leads and they all said no, so leads don’t work”)- and their expectations are naïve (“everyone will want this”).
Today on our call a gent who’d been in Shaklee for 12 years wanted to know what to say to people so he could “get 50 of them to buy $150 worth of products each month, from the company,” like he does. He’d come on the call to learn what to say to make that happen.
Naïve barely begins to describe it. Sales requires very highly honed communication skills and a clear sense of one’s marketing niche. There’s a learning curve that lasts years, not months.
Why does everyone want to hide what it takes to make it? Is the money from those recruit-sized orders from unsuspecting and inexperienced people really worth the giant drop out rates and image we have?
Am I wrong here? Take the poll below and tell me if you agree…or not.
I also welcome your comments.
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Learn the basics for talking about your product line so you amaze and delight your niche: Here’s the book and CD program on it. And here’s the CD set and scripts for talking to niche-mates about your business.
Kim,
We’re not breeding immature networkers . . . we’re just finding immature people and signing them up into the industry.
Anyone who works leads knows how many people are looking for a job where they can “make $10,000 a month doing something at their computer.” (Yeah, right!)
These people have immature and niave beliefs before anyone ever signs them up.
— Walter Reade (from Appleton, WI)
Walter@NMC
http://www.NuOpportunity.com
I’d rather earn less money and work in a much less stressful environment than under a leader who pushed too hard. Some thrive under the HARSH environment. Others do not. For those who are satisfied with a modest income in MLM to keep them out of the regular J-O-B market, then I do hope they will find the right environment and leaders to not only allow, but enourage that and still support them and treat them with kindness. Top MLM leaders want their people to be successful. It puts more money in his/her pocket, but taking the time to learn what each rep wants from the business and helping them to formulate a plan based on THEIR needs will be a win-win for both.
Crash, bang, clunk, slam, crunch…. that is what I sounded like when I started my first network marketing business.
My sponsor tried to teach me but she didn’t have a CLUE, and her upline had no time for me at all. So she gave me allllll the wrong advice and it was just aweful… and embarrassing.
Now, since I moved to another company, and another sponsor, I work with those who DO know what they are doing and I’m in a state of semi permanent testing and have a side of permanent success that will grow over time. It will take time.
I have to remember to be OPEN to suggestion. I MUST at least consider what those I trust and respect tell me.
I’ve been my own boss and “the mom” for so long that I had to learn how to take direction… lol not used to that, but I’m getting there.
My mentor told me just today… “I told you this before, but you weren’t ready to hear it, are you ready now?”.
I was ready.. (crashing and banging in the background)
oye…
moral: be sure you are taking direction from someone who knows what they are doing. 🙂
Lisa Dingel
Success
Until the “New School of NM” the five WORST things to say were the five RIGHT things to say!
Need I say more?
Venetta
venetta5@yahoo.com
I agree with Walter. A LOT of the people who are looking are “welfare minded”. They have seen so much hype on late night TV that leads them to believe they can sign up, do nothing and make money, that is exactly what they are looking for.
I, for one, won’t sign up anyone who isn’t willing to learn FIRST and join my organization SECOND. I make sure people know exactly what they are in for. Those who are the right ones will join. Those who are not will be off to find the next scam. Simple.
It takes teamwork and if someone joins the team wanting something for nothing it brings the entire team moral down.
Roxanne Green
Kim,
As I see it, the sad fact is that in many cases we are in fact breeding immature networkers. Just look at the ads posted in newspaper or go to an “opportunity meeting”. I have seen far too many people go to meetings and get very excited only to fade away when they do not make it big in the first month. Many of these expectations are set in the meetings by people who tell their story which makes it sound like they had been siding houses a couple of months ago, when in fact they were a major player in another company and brought an entire down line with them.
I still believe that this is a fantastic industry but in this instant gratification land in which we live people need to understand that it takes time and effort to build a meaningful business. If we do a better job of setting expectations I feel that we can breed “mature” networkers.
> Am I wrong here?
Hell, no. Of course not. Only a fool would suggest otherwise.
>I also welcome your comments.
Even really long ones? Here goes…
Rather than ‘immature’, I prefer to consider the failing as ‘amateur’ – whereby many & most are too busy ‘thinking about how to spend the money we’ll make’ to realise & do what’s required.
There’s far too much enthusiasm – and not nearly enough expertise.
A big part of the problem is directly attributable to the below-par quality with which much of the currently available training can be fairly tagged… leading to an overall standard which is too often woefully short of meeting any objective marker of ‘commercially aware’. Bluntly, we do far too much dumb stuff and aren’t nearly clever enough.
‘Just tell your friends’, it’s suggested that in NM ‘normal rules don’t apply’ and there’s no need to bother with ‘all that business stuff’. That’s crap – of the dangerously misleading variety… just another example of how for too long by not caring enough we’ve allowed & encouraged mediocrity to dominate… spawning generations of misguided fools who bumble/hare-around with an ignorance-of and disregard-for good commercial practice and thus achieve little else other than making a damn nuisance of themselves before failing & quitting.
There’s also a suggestion (a very very good one) that in NM, ‘amateur’ (rooted in the Latin ‘amtor’ – lover, devoted friend, devotee, enthusiastic pursuer of an objective’) is a more integrity-implying and honorable term than ‘professional’. Maybe it is. I understand – and don’t agree. Moreover, I suggest such thinking is simply a reflection of circumstance, acceptance of which is short-sighted – damaging to this business and the genuinely well-intentioned and competent practitioners thereof.
Let’s be blunt: however much you love the product, take away the money you make for peddling it and you’re gone. So honey, whatever you say to the contrary, ‘you’re a pro’. Welcome to the machine.
Professional Passion? Let’s put this whole ‘do something you love’ Pro-Am thing into perspective… unless you plan to die poor, enthusiasm is never enough – to succeed you’ll need to be good; and ‘great’ is better.
Can you imagine a great cardiologist who’s not obsessed with hearts? Sure makes the case for ‘lead with love’. Perhaps the $800k salary helps fuel the obsession? ‘Smart folk’ – the medics, lawyers, marketers etc at the top of their profession – are from the get-go well aware of the financial aspects and pursue an appropriate course of action. They get to where they are by doing one thing – being very very good. And for that, they had to have some love & respect for their chosen activity. If they hadn’t, they’d have made an alternate choice during their early years.
So sure, we need to have passion for what we do. If you don’t have it – stop.
And if you do, don’t kid yourself it’ll ever be enough. Those monster payoffs (and the mortgage money) come from being good at – not passionate about – our thing.
Looking from the customer end of the ‘scope…
Do I choose the cold and aloof ‘great and I know it’-arrogant surgeon who’ll save my life without breaking sweat? Or die under the knife of an enthusiastic but-not-good-enough second rater? Tough choice – not. Most buyers choose those who, because they know their stuff and do it well, help them reach a decision about which they feel good.
A New Breed of NM-er – Proud to be Pro. So, whatever the reason we’re here – whether driven by love or money – let’s recognize NM is a business… and, just like any other commercial activity, one in which we need to develop appropriate awareness of sensible principle & practice. ‘Let’s be real good at what we do… excellence – always.’ That’s the key to success.
‘Professional?’ Try this: ‘participating for gain or livelihood in an endeavor often undertaken by amateurs… exhibiting a courteous, conscientious, and generally businesslike manner… characterized by conforming to the appropriate technical and ethical standards.
‘Wise, elegant, sophisticated and upscale…’ I’, suggesting a new class of NM-er. The astute fully-aware-and-engaged locked’n’loaded Professional Evangelist (and I’m not talking religo-fanatic) who recognizes this business… in becoming increasingly less about telling your friends and more about reaching strangers the companies can’t and in ways they couldn’t – requires a revised (wholly different) approach.
Undertaken appropriately, the term Professional Network Marketer makes a bold statement about your enterprise. It says: I care about what I’m doing. Here for the long-term, I run my business ‘properly’ – at least a little more intelligently, ethically and effectively than usual. If you join me as an associate I’ll respect and support you – help us to both prosper.
So yeah… ‘less enthusiasm, more expertise’.
Some “Tough Love” from Kim but I have to agree with her.
The reality is that Network Marketing is a business, a sales and distribution business. It has its unique features but the requirements for success are pretty much the same as for any business.
Unfortunately, most of the people coming in to Network Marketing don’t have any experience of running their own business or of selling (one of the reasons for getting into Network Marketing, of course, is that they want their own business and MLM offers an “easy” way in). As previous comments have noted, the training generally provided isn’t adequate for these newcomers.
I think Robert Kiyosaki’s “Cash Flow Quadrant” offers great insight. Most newcomers are in his “Employee” quadrant and they want to get to the “Business Owner” quadrant. Robert points out the completely different mindsets and skill sets that are required for success in each quadrant. It’s not necessarily an easy journey and the basic training from most companies isn’t adequate.
I’ve rambled a bit here. The choice is either to “Churn and Burn” or spend the time becoming a professional and helping your team to do the same. I think everyone on this forum has chosen the second path.
Michael Oliver
http://www.NaturalSelling.com
I agree with Doug’s very true statement: “Many of these expectations are set in the meetings by people who tell their story which makes it sound like they had been siding houses a couple of months ago, when in fact they were a major player in another company and brought an entire down line with them.”
Gulliver definitely said a mouthful! And Michael you also nailed it: “Unfortunately, most of the people coming in to Network Marketing don’t have any experience of running their own business or of selling . . .”
May I share my personal experience as one of the naive?
I wasn’t approached like most people when I joined this industry 4 years ago. I had been unemployed for 6 months, couldn’t ‘BUY’ a job, despite having 30 years of experience in the legal field.
So when I went to my first ‘business presentation’ I was awe-struck. For me, it wasn’t the company’s story and successful track record or even the wonders of the distinct fruit juice that made me want to join. It was the gathering of over 300 people (of color, dressed in their Sunday best, but no food was being served) and they were talking about making serious ‘gangsta’ money.
See, I was desperate at the time. And I hung onto every word that the man at the front of the room was saying (he used to be a mechanic) and he was now taking home 5 figures a month. I wanted THAT!
I was enthusiastic and BELIEVED that if these people could do it, certainly I could too. And that’s what I think happens to a lot of people.
Today, 6 days shy of the day I joined that first company 4 years ago, and 361 days since I joined the company I rep for now . . . I’m battle-scared but no longer wounded. I’m stronger, wiser and more clear about what and WHY I’m doing what I’m doing.
People need to be told the truth, pure and simple. They need to know it’s going to take more than what is told when they go to a meeting. They need to know that if they are not prepared to WORK, forget about it. They need to know that in order to make it in this industry, they more than likely will also have to do the uncomfortable and the unfamiliar, at least in the beginning.
WHY? Because most of us have never had to do what it required to run a business. Most of us have/had the employee mentality and that simply doesn’t work in this industry. Our schools barely teach people how to find and work a job, let alone start and run a business. So people need to educate themselves about what it’s going to take to start and run a business and decide for themselves, is it worth it for them.
I have come to love what this industry has done for me in terms of growth as an individual. Have I made the ‘gangsta’ money yet? Nope. BUT, I know it’s possible if I just keep going and work on ME. Each person who joins the industry has to understand that aside from the company, the product or the potential money, it simply comes down to what an individual is willing to commit to doing, for however long, no matter what.
And frankly most people today just don’t have that willingness.
In fact, just yesterday I sent my team an email letting them know that I’ll always be available to support them and their teams, but my focus has changed.
I have FINALLY figured out what’s best for me, and it’s not what I’ve been doing for the past 4 years. I was a Help Desk Support person before joining this industry and now that I have the opportunity to do something similar online, I’m going to be doing that while also working on branding ME.
A Johnson Enterprise
Hi Kim,
I have to agree with Walter. So many people just have an unrealistic expectation of what a network marketing business really is.
There is no easy way to get to the finish line.
Our culture breeds this kind of expectations when you see the kind of junk that is on TV and in the popular culture magazines.
It’s all about money and stuff. How much stuff you can buy and consume.
Our culture breeds this kind of thinking.
Regards,
Erin
One thing Stringer, the Rutgers basketball coach did was:
1. picked a TEAM of players with past basketball experience.
2. picked a TEAM that was not afraid to work hard to reach their goals.
3. was up front with his TEAM about what was required to be the best.
4. made his TEAM practice, practice, practice a skill set required to be successful.
We can learn a lot from this. It is what Kim teaches. It is what all effective coaches teach.
So if your up-line is not up front about what it takes or doesn’t provide the right coaching then you’ll have to find a way to learn this yourself, like what happened to me.
We get ‘immature’ people in our business because we allow them to sign up with us. ( and I mean immature as in not knowing what it really takes to build a business )
It’s not always a bad thing if they are willing to do the work after they find out what is required.
But that is the minority.
So, like Kim says, find the people who this is the right opportunity for right now.
We don’t want to perpetuate the industry standard of signing people up just because they are starry-eyed about being wealthy.
Building your own business is not something that is taught in the school system. Most people are clueless about what it takes and what mind set you must have. The school system caters to the employee mentality. Even professional doctors, dentists, artists, etc… who have businesses have run them inefficiently because they don’t know basic business principles. They practice their profession and many times leave the details of their businesses to someone else.
So that is what we’re up against.
And it’s great to hear success stories like Anita Johnson’s above who came is really, really green, but has persevered and grown.
Dianna
I’m so glad this is finally getting out in the open. When I began my NWM career I couldn’t understand how all the rules didn’t apply, how we didn’t need to run it like a regular business. I had been running my own business, successfully, for 10 years and the thought of not having to do all that marketing and pounding the pavement and knocking on doors really appealled to me. When it didn’t succeed the way they said, I would get the same story about the guy who was thirsty and kept pumping the old well for water, and then quit right before it started producing. I really felt , in a sense, like I was being manipulated by my emotions every time I heard stuff like that. I thought my lack of success was because I didn’t have the influence with others I’d thought I had. I didn’t understand, until new school, how much fiction and BS is being passed around. The truth is that many NWM will take the temporary BS and spread it around to get the new person who will buy a kit and maybe hang around a few months until they give up too. That is NOT real business. It’s why we have a bad rap and I’m glad we are airing the laundry. This is exactly what attracts those immature people, just like the ones who open the publishers clearing house sweepstakes and really believe they have won, or who spend their rent money on the lottery. Yeah, we attract the immature AND the lazy. I’d like to hear stories of the person who kept at it for 10 years before they became successful. At least I can relate to that and I know it’s real.
I’m so glad I’ve been able to structure my NWM business so that it is a real business, the providing of goods and services for a fee. If I find someone who is interested in doing the same thing, Great! I don’t spend any more time looking for them. I don’t spend any money to find them and I don’t lose any sleep at night wondering if I recruited the right people.
Are we breeding immature networkers?
Yes, because it’s written into the business model. It’s written in the manual I received when I signed-up: “Anyone can do it!” It also has a section changing a negative thought to a positive: Instead of “I never know what to say” we should tell ourselves “My enthusiasm for (the product) will make the right words come!” I’m not kidding. It really says that.
When someone finds themselves being presented-to by an old-school mlm’r, the ‘average American’ begins thinking Yes, of course, this is what I deserve! Where do I sign?” They don’t have a clue, and when they realize it’s not as easy as driving through McDonald’s, most quit, often times loudly.
How do you go about changing a business model? I guess you, Kim, and a few others are blazing that new trail that I’m on now, too. So now I have to say that NO, we here are not breeding immature networkers, but the companies that are still touting enthusiasm as what it takes to “make the right words come” are. It really says that…
Tracy
About me
Hi Kim.Great post.We are building
immature networkers because a
bunch of people in the business,
including companies are still
LYING to prospects about how easy
it is to make alot of money in
this wonderful industry.
Tell people the truth and let the
realists appear because they
will.
Raven
http://www.cash4you.myfti.biz
Kim,
Business is based on the law of “supply and demand.” We use to call it Economics 101:
If there are enough people who are naive enough, gullible enough, desperate enough, immature enough, etc. to believe *what they want to hear* (no selling required, our system does 95% of the work for you, etc.), then there will always be unscrupulous, as well as misinformed distributors, who will tell these “prospective new distributors” what they want to hear – just for the sake of a fast start check.
Sorry, it’s the truth. Yet, there is also a solution: Stay away from both.
Keith