Carol Dweck, Ph.D, a researcher, was obsessed with understanding how people cope with failures. She decided one day early in her career to see how children deal with it. So she did a little experiment:
“I brought children one at a time to a room in their school, made them comfortable, and gave them a series of puzzles to solve. The first ones were fairly easy, but the next ones were hard. I watched their strategies and probed what they were thinking and feeling. I expected differences among children…but I saw something I never expected.“Confronted with the hard puzzles, one ten-year-old boy pulled up his chair, rubbed his hands together, smacked his lips, and cried out, ‘I love a challenge!’
“Another sweating away on these puzzles, looked up with a pleased expression and said with authority, ‘You know, I was hoping this would be informative!’
She learned over the next 20 years that these children had a mindset that could turn failure into a gift…
“These two children knew that human qualities, such as intellectual skills, could be cultivated through effort. And that’s what they were doing – getting smarter. Not only weren’t they discouraged by failure, they didn’t even think they were failing. They thought they were learning.”
“I, on the other hand,” she wrote, “thought human qualities were carved in stone. You were smart or you weren’t, and failure meant you weren’t smart…Struggles, mistakes, perseverance were just not part of this picture…”
She discovered mindsets can be changed – from viewing failure as a condition you are stuck with – to viewing failure as the means to getting smarter and better.
Amazing work. Mindset rules.
What’s your mindset about the setbacks in your business? Do the wrong approaches and failues inspire you or discourage you? Do you crave to try a new approach when one doesn’t work, or do you tend to give in and give up?
What kind of mindset did Mr. Dyson have? What’s yours going to be?
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What if you could learn to tell your story so you can amaze and delight your customer niche: Here’s a book and CD program to help. And here’s help for talking in a human voice about your business – a CD set and cribsheet .
Mr. Dyson thought his mind was set, but soon discovered he to wanted a challenge. His challenge was to find out what drove children in the face of failure. What drives me? A challenge.
That’s what life is a challenge.
Nancy Carlson
http://www.perfectmombusiness.com
As a teacher of adults, my students come into the classroom with lots of notions of what they are good and bad at. I take them through an exercise called “natural born learners”. They must explain something they are an expert in that they did not learn in school. I want to show them that they all have the capacity to learn.
Now, if I can just be as generous with myself. There will always be no’s and hopes dashed- I just need to focus on the yes’s and learn to MOVE ON!
Kim I got excited when I read this post about mindset. I know for a fact my mindset will make or break me.
When I try new things that don’t work out right away I don’t give up. It makes me more determined to re-try. I’m not a quitter and I like to come out on top.
I never had a notebook for my Names List, I need a notebook for my marketing ideas. I love trying and sharing new ideas. My mindset is to help others and to do this I have to keep trying. I get excited thinking about a new way to do things with my NM and more excited sharing with others.
Kim thank you for keeping our imagination working. Being creative keeps me from getting bored. NMC is becoming even more fun for me.
Thank you Kim and everyone on NMC
It’s time…for healthy pets
Why call it failure?
A while back I ended one post on this blog with these words:
“And maybe we need to stop thinking of words like failure and mistakes…and think about it all as just different learning and growth experiences.”
I doubt the children mentioned in the above posting thought of their efforts as “failures.” It was only the adults who labeled it as such and it was then the adult mindset that was used to describe what the children “felt.” From the actual quotes the children did not appear to see their own behavior as “failure.”
Words have power – and as adults we really have to be careful in the words we use when working with children and with newcomers in our own businesses – as they have a lot in common.
Mindset is important: mindset = the words we use to talk to ourselves…so I repeat – words have power…
Be careful what you say to YOU!
Lynn Dorman, Ph.D.
grow older better
Talk about a post that hits the nail on the head!
I have gotten to a point in my life where I am confident I won’t fail, but there are things I avoid doing if I don’t think it will be “good enough”. An example of this is a personal website. I know that I can put one together but…..
I love a challenge, like the boy in the story. That is what I absolutely love about this business — I am never bored and have the opportunity to grow and learn while helping others to do the same.
I think the only way to truly be a failure is to quit — the rest are just learning experiences. I haven’t quit and now I need to be willing to accept the learning experience of not having the perfect website.
Thanks Kim for a thought provoking post as always!
Laura
Boston, MA
“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you learn how to do it well” Zig Ziglar
My first experience in NM was in the year 2000. After two years of frustrations and feeling like I was ‘spinning my wheels’ I just gave up and quit. Maybe an additional factor was although I liked the products I wasn’t particularly in love with them.
In 2004 I starting using a product that I fell in love with; realized it was distributed through MLM and started doing the business about a year later. In November of 2006 I was frustrated, again felt like I was spinning my wheels but this time thought I AM NOT GIVING UP! I started searching, must have gone into what seems like millions of MLM sites and settled into Kim’s blog and NMC.
My other hurdle is the language. I was quite insecure talking to people. My conversational skills are good, but when it came to talking business the insecurity would cause me to break out in a cold sweat!
Computer skills … I’m a whiz in word, excel and powerpoint. I can search the web, find what I want to read and that’s about it. Now, at the ripe ole age of 26 (in a 56-year-old body), I’m learning about URL’s, HTMLs, widgets, RSSs, etc., etc. I have crammed 10 years of technology in five months. I am one click away from the funny far but who says old dogs can’t learn new tricks.
I agree with Robin, creativity, a marketing ideas list rather than a names list is a must.
My key words, Burning Desire, Creativity, Why, Patience and Perseverance! Not to mention love your product.
Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi said, “Perseverance opens up treasures which bring perennial joy.”
Venetta
Aloe Vera … The Miracle of Nature!
Okay…so Mr. Dyson suggested to do something “silly, unthinkable and naughty”…so here it goes….! (Bear with me here!)
Dear Kim…”just wondering if you would be interested in some private tennis lessons, as it just so happens that I play the Amadeus sound track during all of my lessonss as interpreted by the BG’s”. (That had to be all of the above!).
Example #2:
Dear Kim: “as a single father of two very cute boys (my ‘ex’ switched ‘teams’…not that there is anything wrong with that!), I would love it if you could make a personal trip to my city and provide me with some personal coaching in order for me to ‘make it’ within my chosen company. (Sorry…that had to be silly, naughty, and unthinkable as well.)
Example #3:
“I believe that IF by doing what I am doing makes a difference in the life, or quality of life, of just one person or family, …then I have achieved success!”. (This may be perceived as naughty, silly or unthinkable by some…but by this point…we all want further clarification as to ‘the outcome’.
Ed MacDonald B.Sc., RRT
“Saving lives one breast at a time”
http://www.breastcancerkit.networkmarketintgcentral.com
There’s a great quote that I am unable to attribute, and I may not have it exactly right but it goes something like, “Anything worth doing at all, is worth doing poorly at first.”
When I get to the point of near total frustration with something, I am now able to realize that I’m about to make a breakthrough.
Another way to put it is that 99.99% of what we are wanting to create or master, has already manifested before we see any physical evidence of it. So keeping these things in mind helps me to keep moving forward toward my goals and not keeping score.
It’s all about how we “play the game”:-)
Tracy
About me
Organic Foods Mom
I really like this blog! Our “mindset” towards a situation will in many cases determine the outcome.
Sports is a great example of mindset. I have seen teams walk out on the field to play a game and I knew they would lose because that was their mindset. You could tell by their body language.
I’ve seen other teams not nearly as talented come out and dominate a game because of their mindset. They were pumped to play and thought they deserved to win!
a lot of life is out “mindset”.