"I need to contribute to the family income before we go under…"

Just in…She’s in one of the big nutritional companies.

“I am a stay at home mom of 2 trying to make ends meet. My husband lost his job and is now working in construction. But with winter coming he needs to find something else in the mean time. I got into [X company] early this year and it is now November and I am completely frustrated. My upline is a nice lady however I feel that I am going no where with this.

The products are wonderful and have helped my family’s health tremendously. The problem is that I am usually on my own with my kids. My upline does not have this issue and gives me advice like I don’t have kids. I’ve done health fairs, holistic fairs, craft fairs, you name it and nothing. When I do a fair my husband has to take off of work to watch the girls and that means lost money. I have info out the wazoo no one seems interested or are turned off by the whole MLM completely.

My upline and her upline have boasted how easy this is. And have told me time and time again to contact friends and family. I did and big mistake. I think my phone calls and emails are now being avoided. I am so frustrated, I don’t want to lose friends and have given up on trying to bother them.

I’ve asked my upline about the internet selling or going to businesses and a strategy because I can’t keep doing the fairs or bothering friends. Well they are old school and don’t believe in internet selling and say that my friends and family are not interested because they don’t hear the enthusiasm in my voice. ARRRRRGGHHH!!!

Is there a better way? Or is there a better company that I can make money and contribute to the family income before we go under? Your suggestions and opinions are greatly appreciated…” -Lulu.

What if this were your dearest friend? What would you suggest? Post your comments below.

About the author

Kim Klaver


  • I would recommend Max Steingart’s training to get her on the internet. Here’s a link…

    Then stop listening to your upline. Lulu must do what works for Lulu, and it’s not a crime to go out and find out what that is on your own. When MLM did not work for me I became a piano tuner to put food on the table…and I have a degree in Electrical Engineering and could not find work. You can still do a variety of things AND work your MLM biz as you find yourself.

  • I would recommend finding the working mom sites to get tips on how they do it.
    Jackie Ulmer is an amzing woman who has several sites, newsletters and conference calls about how busy mom s can make a living from home.
    She is my upline and I have learned so much from her!
    Heather Findlay

  • Kim, as long as mlm compaines
    promote the the old school way of during business, there will be so many house holds finding their selves in this position.

    I think the best thing for people to do is to educate our self on what works best for us(not reinventing) by looking at options that will get you closer to your goals.
    Everything doesnot fit everyone. Some people may feel confortable going to family and friends, so this may work for them. Others have a list of people from past businesses to explore, this may work for them.
    What about the person who is just starting and don’t have these options in place, how do you teach them to make this industry work for them. That is where the ball is dropped. Everthing doesnot work for everyone.

    I came across this free ebook that change the way I viewed how to apply what works for me.

    I think though education you can discover who to market your product/service to.

    Great topic Kim, I think most of us
    have been in this position.


  • What is Lulu doing at the different vendor booths she holds? If she just goes and stands there and waits for people to come to her or call her later, I’m not surprised she’s disappointed with her results.

    I do four things at mine:
    1. Have an “irresistible offer” for people who take action and order at the fair.

    2. Ask people who stop by to fill out a survey to get on my nutrition newsletter (email distribution) list. This gives them my monthly nutrition newsletter and invites to the Wellness Seminars I host in my home or elsewhere. A stay-at-home mom could easily do these. I have had people order a year later because they were getting emails from me every month and when the time was right, they knew who to come to for good nutrition.

    3. Hand out a flyer with my website info.

    4. Hand out an invitation to my next Wellness Seminar. I schedule these for a venue outside my home so I can feel comfortable inviting strangers. Lulu could schedule it on a day that hubby is not working so it doesn’t interfere with his schedule.

    Is it simple? Yes. Is it easy? No..but then neither is holding down a full-time job which is what I don’t want to have to do anymore. Lulu needs to decide how badly she wants this to work and then take consistent action that will get her ever closer to her goals.


  • Somehow, try to find another Mom who has been in your situation and see what she did to become successful.

    You’ll be able to relate to each other and she can empathize with your situation.


  • By telling her that her friends and family aren’t interested because they don’t hear the enthusiasm in her voice is like saying it’s all her fault that it isn’t working. They don’t want to acknowledge the fact that the problem may be in their methods. They should be ashamed of themselves for trying to lay that on her.

    I would suggest that she try to partner with someone who is like minded. I have heard of friends partnering up even when they weren’t in the same company. It’s a good idea. They can encourage each other. They can kick ideas around and find something that works for them, not what works for their upline.

    I would also suggest that she check out the number of different generic trainers and find something that works for her. Someone above mentioned Max Steingart. His material is very good. Kim’s material is also very good. I would also recommend Michael Olivers stuff at and Tim Sales has a variety of training material at She might also look into blogging. I’m just getting started with that one myself.

    We must remember that we are “independent” distributors. We can decide what’s best for us. And when we find something we can succeed at, we can thumb our noses at those who told us it wouldn’t work.

    Joe Washburn
    Understanding Your Health

  • I heard this before from the old mlmers. Go make a list of your friends and invite them to some call about their hyped-up, expensive product, the same product you can get at WalMart for four times less. They tell you to buy these expensive super-duper quality leads that they claimed to be leads that worked for them and once you get them, it turned out to be bad leads. Then the moment you go against their advice, like deciding not to go with their leads, they say you’re not serious, unwilling to work with them and will not support you.

    When we all know that there’s a 95% failure rate, why duplicate it. If there’s a 5% chance of making it, then the chances your downline has making it is 5% x 5% = 0.25%. That’s assuming that you stay with the old school methods.

    If I’m going to fail in this business, then I’d rather fail in my own terms than someone else’s terms, like those of my upline’s. But if I fail, it’s because I didn’t do anything about working the business at all or I made a decision that turned out unfavorably, but at least I made it on my own and not blindfolded.

    As many people in the board said and as I heard from Ms Stud, and Roxanne, and Aunt Lulu over and over and over again, all I can say is do it the way you should do it using your best judgement. So what if it’s 4th and inches and you decide under those circumstances that you go for it and run the ball and didn’t make it and it cost you the football game. At least you failed in your own terms, not your upline’s.

    If you’re gonna find your way to success in this industry, you’ll have to do things your way. If you don’t how to do it, then learn how to do it. If you’re bad in leadership, work on that part. If you’re bad on making telephone calls, keep working at it, make adjustments or so. Just don’t do what worked for your upline and expect to do the same and it will work. What worked for her in upstate New York may not work well in downtown New Orleans. My point is do what you think will work for you and make adjustments accordingly.

    My few points…


  • There are many possible reasons for Lulu’s failure in her business. Without being able to ask questions about the particulars, there is no standard answer here.

    One thing that seems to be missing is a duplicatable system. This happens in network marketing all the time. People get in and they are new, then they sponsor someone but there is no system to plug them into. People don’t know what to do so they end up struggling and dropping out. Or uplines are just interested in that sign up bonus and don’t really care about helping the people they are getting in. Or maybe the upline was never taught a duplicatable system so they don’t know what to teach their people.

    ~Roxanne Green~
    My duplicatable system

  • Last year around this time I was ready to become an MLM dropout. Then I found Kim Klaver. Through this site I met Robin Plan (hope you don’t mind me using your name, Robin). We both muddled around and today are on our way to being sucessful MLMers.

    I would first suggest that my dear friend click on Kim’s Podcast and listen to #1, #2, & #3 … Mary Jane’s story. Then I would suggest she order “The Truth Book.” Then I would suggest she have a ‘white sale.’

    This summer after reading Kim’s White Sale Blog, I created a ‘postcard.’ On the left-hand side it had a picture of a beautiful girl walking through the sand barefoot. On the right the Headline read: DO YOU HAVE DRY, CRACKED HEELS?
    Under the headline it read, “My heels were so dry and cracked I used to be embarassed to wear sandals in the summer. Then I found xx creme. Now, I even go barefoot. Try it and see if it works for you like it did for me.” I stapled a sample of the product to the postcard and left them at hairdressers, spas and other places where women patronize. It brought in a ton of business.

    I would suggest she drop her upline, study Kim’s New School Methods, be creative and most importantly, never, never, never give up.


  • I was in the same situation with my sponsor in my first company. I was told to talk to my friends, family and everyone in between. It didn’t work because I didn’t know how to talk to them without the glazed eyes and them tuning me out. So my advice would be that you don’t have to listen to your upline. It’s your business so stay in your comfort zone. If you like talking to people and know how to ask for referrals from friends and family do that. You will need Kim’s material and practice lots. Find a friend to practice with and do it over and over again until you can say it drunk, sober, asleep or awake. Get Kim’s stuff first…

    If you don’t enjoy talking to people, or going first make post cards for friends and businesses. I love doing post cards. I print them myself so I can change them to see what works. If you have a school directory with student address this is a good source of names to try.

    If you go to a business make sure it’s one you know something about. One of my network marketing businesses is for healthy pet food so I go to groomers, boarding kennels, pet sitters etc. These are people I can talk with all day and they know I’m a product of my product. I’m not just another salesperson.

    Try ads in your local paper for the product or business. If money is tight use the penny shopper. Again use Kim’s material to learn how to write effective ads. You still won’t know if an ad is going to work so play with it and see what does work.

    I also print flyers and post them on bulletin boards around town, especially in pet related places.

    My other company has material I leave in medical offices, coffee shops, book stores, etc.

    It’s about having the money for marketing or being creative.

    Blogging about something you are passionate about can get your name and product out there but it takes time and effort.
    I didn’t know Jack about network marketing a year ago and wasn’t making any money. I found Kim’s Material and learned I didn’t need to listen to my sponsor. I didn’t have to do things the way she did. I stayed in my comfort zone and have seen success. There are so many ROM you can try. No promises about what will work but know there are many things you can try. Again if you really want to learn new ways study Kim’s material.

    Warmest wishes

  • In this MLM industry, a lot of leaders are using telling as a way to mentor the downline.

    To be effective it has to tell, show and do.

    So in this case, ask your upline to show you how to do it and also do it together with you so you can see how they approach your prospects.

    There are many ways to promote this biz to people beside fair and do whatever you feel that most suitable to you.

    Every strategy call for different skill set for example for using internet you will need to know how to market yourself over the net.

    Money Ngoh

  • Kim Klaver CDs have helped me focus my ads to the “Target” market. Instead of marketing to everyone, you should try focusing on the prospects that would most likely use and/or need the product that you are marketing. These CDs teach you how to get prospects to come to you instead of you chasing them. Try wearing a shirt or pin that says something about your product (for example – Total Health, Ask Me How). Another thing is you may want to try to seek outside help. Sometimes uplines don’t even know what to do. Find someone who is making at least $10,000-$20,000 a month and ask them for advice. Maybe your upline doesn’t have an answer for you.


  • 1. Say goodbye to your upline. She is clearly not helping you. You don’t have to actually say goodbye, just stop communicating with her. If she calls be friendly and cordial but do not share what you are doing, you don’t need to hear any negative stuff.

    2. Ignore anyone who tells you it is easy. It most certainly is doable but it isn’t easy.

    3. Cultivate your own trainers/mentors. Most of the industry NM training is probably not for you, so I would suggest the following for starters:

    Loral Langemeir’s The Millionaire Maker’s Guide to Creating A Cash Flow Machine for Life. Don’t let the title fool you. This is excellent stuff on how to build a cash flow engine within 7 weeks. Now she is not targeting those just looking for some extra cash or mad money, but she includes MLM as one potential way of building a cash flow engine and her ideas will set you head and shoulders above the crowd.

    She also teaches you to evaluate your skill set to see what business venture/opportunity is best for you. After all, business building of any sort, and network marketing in particular isn’t for everybody.

    Todd Duncan’s High Trust Selling – where Loral’s book is more generic, geared to any business, including NM, Todd specifically shows how to build a cash flow direct sales machine in a relatively short period of time. Again, very powerful stuff which is hardly taught in NM.

    Both of the above books are so loaded I couldn’t even begin to describe what you will learn from them.

    Kim Klaver’s The Truth Book and her other materials. The primary benefit of the book in my opinion is showing that there is no one way to build a network marketing business AND how to deal with people when doing so. It is also a great tool to use to insert between your new recruits (if any) and the incessant “you must do it this way” noise they will hear from many in the company.

    Her other materials are great in showing how to gain customers without all the hype and over blown promises and can be readily incorporated as part of an overall strategy with the two books mentioned above.

    Finally, I would recommend Tom Stanley’s Networking with the Affluent and Selling to the Affluent. Stanley, author of the Millionaire Next Door, puts to rest the idea of being what he calls a “cold calling cowboy” and shows you how to get to the people who will listen to your story and by your product/service.

    Kim teaches that we should never ask anyone directly for the sale, and that is a great approach, but Stanley goes one step further and shows why you never have to ask for the sale at all, IF you learn how to be an “aces of aces,” that is a powerful and effective networker.

    Be aware, his techniques take time, but as I have learned in the last 18 months or so as I have clawed my way to building a new network from scratch, it does work.

    4. Do some guerilla marketing to get some immediate cash flow. cash does wonders for the mindset and focus. This is covered in Loral’s book but I thought I would mention it here. Kim’s white sale is a good idea. Getting better at having a booth might help too.

    Finally, by all means don’t quit. Your frustration is leading you to perhaps a potential breakthrough. Stay the course and keep learning and growing.


  • What if she tries out some or all of the ideas from the suggestions in the comments on Saturday’s blog to help get her product/business out there? Maybe she could team up with a fellow network marketer and try things like:

    -joining local networking groups
    -changing the voicemail on her phone to contain a quick message about her product
    -putting up flyers on bulletin boards, etc.

    I can’t wait to try out some of the ideas that were mentioned!

    Also, hosting a home party or a free sampling of her products might help her make some immediate money by selling retail.


  • WOW! That’s a tough one. Brings back the years of struggle when I was a young single Mom raising my child.

    Well, I have collected the best of the best of free and low-cost training materials from my 26+ years in the industry as a coach, mentor and training, and put them all online in one single weblog.

    For sure you will find some resources there to help you develope the skills, mindset, education and knowledge base you need to be successful in this great industry.

    There are many great training programs to pick and choose from – at no or low cost.

    It has always been my philosophy as an upline – and business builder myself – to help EACH person on my team find the BEST way for her to do her business – that fits in with her lifestyle as mom, working professional, wife, community involvement, etc – to build a balanced lifestyle that is rewarding both in the short-term as well as the long-term perspective.

    Best Wishes to You to Find a Successful Pathway For YOU through the MLM jungle 🙂

    Pat Crosby

    PS: You can see many wonderful, inspiring stories of moms making it in MLM in the new book, Chicken Soup For The Network Marketer’s Soul

  • Sales and Marketing can be mysterious at times, especially when your back is against the wall trying to add to the family income. She is feeling the pressure of that at this moment.
    Can you hear it in her post? All the suggestions will make her crazy as she goes around trying them all when she needs the income now.

    There are two solutions. Stop all activity and get a part-time job to help with the income hurdles right now. Take a break and get back into the game when her mindset is more in line with a proven sales activity. One must be clear thinking when operating a sales business so the results can be obtained.

    If she wants to pursue the business for that income now, she needs to follow her own plan. She needs to have a her own consistent sales activity plan.. Make that business plan with the expected results… how many contacts, how many conversations are needed to make how many sales resulting in how much money. It would be her numbers not someone else’s.

    A good sponsor could help her with this…not just dictate one to her.

    Being clear on the daily and monthly activity will provide the track to run on that month.

    Most people need to learn how to work consistently every month and not chase the newest technique of the month. Take time to review other strategies and only learn the ones that can be implemented into her plan. It’s her plan not her upline that is important here…. She is in charge of her business…no one else.

    I hear her blaming others for her failure. It’s great when you get support from those who bring you in the business…. It should be that way, but it her business that she needs to take ownership of.

    Some people get in such a tizzy that it is difficult to help them get on the right path. Do some critical thinking and make a plan that makes sense to you. Your truth with yourself is needed to help correct the craziness.

    Sales and Marketing is not always an exact science, but with a practical plan, we can all avoid some of the pitfalls and get results.

  • Hey Folks,

    Lots of great comments on this subject… Isn’t it great when we have the opportunity to reach out to help someone and try to make a positive difference in their lives…!!! 😉

    While reading all the posts one statement JUMPED out at me… It was posted by Sidney: “When we all know that there’s a 95% failure rate, why duplicate it.”

    Just think about it for a minute… It says it all doesn’t it…!!!

    The mlm concept is a fantastic concept, but to it’s detriment it has evolved into an industry that allows deception to flourish…

    We must tell our prospects the TRUTH… They can’t just join a company and expect to make any significant income without knowing what it REALLY takes to build that income…!!!

    Among other things, it takes TIME… EDUCATION… and MONEY…!!!

    I can’t just say I’m an electrician or a doctor or a business owner until I’ve invested time in my education and have the proper amount of capital to grow my business…

    It’s no different in network marketing…!!!

    Thanks for letting me have my rant… ;-D

    Take Care All,

  • Ok, I’m libel to get some flack here but let’s get real. If I had sponsored this gal, I would have told her up front that this business requires 2 to 4 years of 5 to 10 hours a week of solid work (not cleaning your desk or organizing your products) before you can EXPECT to see an income. Now, that doesn’t mean some people don’t start making money sooner but it does mean that most don’t.

    So, if she now came to me telling me that she needed to start making money or quit, I’d have to tell her she might want to find a part time job. I would certainly sit down with her and help her discover ways she could prospect that would fit within her needs; however, I would also make it very clear that prospecting out of desperation won’t get her very far and she’ll end up quitting anyway.

    MLM is a business just like any other business. You can’t expect to be making money within the first year because the odds are against it. So use the tools but be realistic with your expectations.

    MLM isn’t for everyone. That’s why the new school is critical. Get the customers and the distributors will rise to the top.

    Nicole Bandes,

  • Dear Lulu, I don’t mean to discourage you in any way, but if your family is truly at risk of going under, the best way to help might be a temporary part time job. That would take some of the financial pressure off and maybe free a few bucks that you could use towards your business. I am not saying quit, but a biz will take an investment of time and money to provide you with an income. Upline hype aside, it does not happen quickly for most, either in or out of MLM. I have been in business 19 years, some of the time in MLM, but the entire time as an independent paralegal and still some months are rocky, my income is unpredictable. I take the occasional part time gig to fill in the gaps.

  • Hurray for Nicole!!!

    Lulu doesn’t need more advice or how-to’s, she needs an immediate paycheck.

    Desperation is not attractive. It is replusive.

    Once the squeeze is relaxed some, Lulu could persue her home business, but with a better sponsor and/or company.

    Some people make money their first week in business whether it be conventional or NWM. Obviously this is not Lulu’s results.

    Unrealistic expectations are the worst thing we can do to our people. If Lulu was promised an easy paycheck, no wonder she is P.O.

    For Pete’s sake, Lulu, get a job!

    Tom Doiron

  • I read this letter from Lulu again after reading Tom’s comment. Lulu is asking for advice on her networking business. SHe says she needs to help the family with income and it’s true she could get a part time job, but that wasn’t the question she asked of Kim. There are many things she could do with little or no cost for her business if she knew what they were. Yes, Tom for immediate income a job is the answer but let’s give her some suggestions for her business and see if even one is in her comfort zone and will help her.

    If this had been my letter a year ago and I read the last comment I would have dropped out and never found my way back. Think about it.

    Please lighten up, and don’t make statements about what a person needs to do. Tom if this was your dearest friend would you really tell her, For Pete’s sake, Lulu, get a job! ?

    Being rude is not attractive, being helpful is appreciated.

    Happy Thanksgiving

  • Robin,

    Being realistic is helpful.

    You might have dropped out, but how do you know that you wouldn’t have found your way back?

    If they foreclose on her home while she is investigating low cost methods to grow her business, then she most assuredly will be outside her comfort zone.

    And yes, Robin, if she was my dearest friend, I would encourage her to temporairily release her dream and get a paycheck.

    Over the years I have seen people amass enormous debts while holding fast to their dreams. It is not a guaranted ‘happy ending’.

    Sorry if you felt I was being to heavy. My intented emphasis was urgency.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you as well,
    Tom Doiron

  • Tom,

    I understand being realistic. I understand your intended emphasis being urgency and maybe using a little compassion with the words would help Lulu to see what she needs is a weekly paycheck (job) while she builds her business. I’ve worked a full time job 7 days a week the entire time I’ve been building my business because I know my future depends on today.

    If I dropped out I’m sure network marketing would have been history for me. I would not have felt I had what it takes to do network marketing if when I was seeking help I was told For Pete’s sake get a job. Maybe Lulu should have asked for help sooner before she and her family were in their current situation, maybe she just found Kim’s training and this was her last hope. And yes I agree if money is the only issue, she needs a paycheck but again that wasn’t the question she asked.

    Tom thank you for your contribution on Kim’s blog. You do add value for the readers.

    Warmest wishes

  • I agree with Tom’s idea. Although I don’t necessarily agree with the tone, it does make sense for Ms Lulu to transition smoothly from having a part-time job for now and work the home business.

    In order to smooth the transition from a part-time job back to home-biz mode, a business plan should be in order. This business plan should include how to deal with pushy uplines who emphasize old-school MLM methods (causing the 95% failure rate), how to transition from job to home-based business, methods of customer acquisition, building downline, set realistic goals at certain levels, how will you do personal training, study the industry you’re going to be involved with, how to deal with adversity, make adjustments accordingly, and I’m sure there are several others.

    In addition, determining who your audience will be and how are you going to help make their life better should also be included in your business plan.

    Regardless of how you work your business, make sure you’re doing it consistently, whether you’re still working a full time job or staying at home full time.

    As I said earlier, do it under your terms instead of someone else’s. If you run into a brick wall and it will happen, instead of going around it, make sure you get yourself a tank and run over it.

    Having your own business doesn’t mean it will be an easy adventure. It’s going to be more challenging, especially for those who are limited in budget, those who need to work on communication skills, and the ones who need to improve on being more business like.

    I can rant on and on and on, but I’ve said enough.

    Wish you all a happy thanksgiving.

    Say “NO” First!

  • In October of 1999, I attended an internet seminar that changed my life. I was a struggling network marketer trying to do things like my sponsor was doing and had long ago used up my family, friends, neighbors and warm market.

    I was tired, had toddlers at home, and had no idea how I was going to make my business successful given my time, money, and mind set constraints.

    Then, along came the seminar and although most of it was a gimmick and a waste of my time, I got totally turned on at the thought of developing my MLM business ONLINE and having people come to me.

    Well, the first thing I did was build a personal website, because the internet gurus were telling me that is what I needed to do, and I needed to get traffic to my website and start writing a newsletter. These were NOT MLM guru’s, by the way, but people making MILLIONS online annually all while home in their PJ’s.

    The second thing I did was tell my upline, who promptly dumped on my dream of building my business online, from home, without friends, family and the like. So much for the positive mindset of the networker! He told me I was going to lose my downline and that is would NEVER work because this is a belly to belly business.

    It didn’t matter. I refused to be deterred and was steadfast that I was going to do this thing and do it amazingly well!

    8 years and 3 companies later, it has been the best business decision I have EVER made. And yet everyone told me I couldn’t do it. After all, the odds were against me. I knew virtually nothing about the internet and had no clue what a “domain name” was; a URL was Greek to me and whatever an autoresponder might be was of no concern to me. It sounded too scary.

    The best way to go about building ANY business is the way that just blows your socks off when you think about it; it’s building in the way that resonates with you when you think about it, and what gets you out of bed raring to go.

    Making more lists; talking to more friends and family; and chatting it up with unsuspecting people in malls was a total turn off to me and did NOT get me out of bed.

    Connecting with people online and finding those who are looking did and does still get me out of bed.

    I am not saying that the internet is the ONLY way to go; or that the methods named above are wrong. It isn’t and they aren’t.

    But, it’s GOT to fit you. It’s GOT to be right for you so you’ll actually DO it!

    Educate yourself on the process and get very good at it.

    Be willing to practice; try; be bad; get better; and get embarrassed every once in awhile. It’s all part of the learning process. It’s all part of what gets you there on your journey!

    BELIEVE, Have faith and hope and keep turning over stones until you find what is right for you!

    EXPECT Success!

    Jackie Ulmer
    Six Figure WAHM BLOG

    PS – Heather, thanks for that VERY nice comment! I so appreciate you and am glad to have made a difference for you.

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