“The trouble with talent – how knowing you’re smart can hold you back…”
That’s the title of a piece on the work of Stanford Professor Carol Dweck, who concludes that people who “know” they’re smart (or talented) because they’ve been told that by their parents, teachers or test scores can actually end up losing out to others not as smart.
How?
“You’ll reach new heights if you learn to embrace the occasional tumble.”
Failure demoralizes people who think they’re smart, so much that they can’t deal with the occasional tumble, much less lots of them.
In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dweck concludes that”
“the difference between success and failure is not ability: it’s whether you look at ability as something inherent that needs to be demonstrated or as something that can be developed.” (itals mine, kk)
What’s more, she has shown that people “can learn to adopt the latter belief and make dramatic strides in performance.” –Stanford Magazine, March-April, 2007
Moral: Not getting the results you want?
Before you decide you “can’t do this,” ask yourself whether you’re up for the challenge of learning how to get better and better by doing it more and more often, with little adjustments each time.
If not, maybe another path is better for you.
If you’re ready for the challenge, remember that learning might mean getting better at seeking out the right people (versus banging on the wrong ones), or learning to ask for referrals instead of directly asking everyone you know to buy.
Your thoughts?
—
Learn to tell your story so you amaze and delight your niche: Here’s a book and CD program to help. And here’s help for talking in a human voice about your business – a CD set and cribsheet .
Recently, a couple in my company said that their business really took off when they made the commitment to work on self-development and training every day. Bingo!
This type of business doesn’t come easy for me, but I love it madly, and ironically had decided the other day that I must learn how to do it better. So guess what – even as I am writing this, my desk is covered with Kim’s books and I am going to get better at talking to my niche and knowing what to do when they say “yes.” I am ready for the challenge and you all at NMC are my witnesses.
Thanks for painting another clear picture, Kim. This should encourage a lot of those who thought they didn’t have it in them.
Marti
Welcome back Kim!
This is outstanding material . . . perfect for network marketers. The full article is definitely worth reading [link], and I’m going to check out the book.
I’ve often felt if you don’t have regular failures and a major “crash and burn” now and then, you weren’t trying hard enough.
Of course, that’s harder said than done. Not many of us like to fail.
Dweck’s writing is a huge help in letting us know it’s “okay” to fall down.
— Walter Reade (from Appleton, WI)
Walter@NMC
http://www.NuOpportunity.com
“Just looking.” Have you ever gone into a store wanting, or needing, to buy something and when approached by a sales clerk said, “I’m just looking.” Are we not conditioned to deflect a sales approach even if we want or need something? We are in the store after all.
Asking for referrals is brilliant. If you’re a networker, your ‘store’ is in your words. To display your wares you must talk about them.
What is the conditioned response from your potential customer? “I’m just looking” or some other phrase to deflect the sales approach. How can they ‘look’ unless you tell? I market a product for people who…do you know anyone who’d be interested in a product like that? gives them a chance to deflect the sales approach and still look. If they are interested they might respond, “Yes I do, tell me more.” The store is open for business. If not, their response might be, “I don’t know anyone.” Store’s closed. Time to open in a new location.
interesting post there, it’s true that a lot of times talent won’t make you successful, charisma, positivity and attitude can get you there, even if you’re not the most talented guy in town. We learn from our mistakes, the great succceses usually comes from even greater mistakes.
I totally agree that there are people who have inherent qualities that can be developed into the right abilities if the motivation and determination to succeed are in place and people don’t quit before they get to the finish line. I and that ability can be developed. There are also people with innate abilities that if they don’t use them just remain “potential”. Just because you arrive late to the party doesn’t mean you can’t be there at the end when the prizes are handed out. Also there is no doubt that we learn a lot by the mistakes we make and can pass the benefit of our experiences good and bad on to our team so that they can repeat the good ones and avoid the bad ones. If the definition of luck is the place where preparation meets opportunity then yes we need to do the work before we can really tell if we can be successful at our business. As Kim points out on a regular basis Harvard business school tells us it takes 3-5 years to build a business. Many people in MLM do reach high levels of management quickly if they happen to have a lot of so called luck with their first business builders but the question is whether or not it is sustainable. I think many of us in the beginning might be able to enroll people because of our enthusiasm, but after having done this several times I now understand we need to find people who are willing to stay the course, and realize that this is not a get rich quick scheme. That means staying true to your vision of what you wanted when you first signed on – being in a team that can guide you along the way and finding the right entrepreneurial people with the right mind set. You can’t come into this business hungry for the big bucks – you need to see it as an investment in the future and realize that you are training on the job. Maybe then we could change the statistics of the high drop out rate. Juliette Gray http://arbonnejuliette.networkmarketingcentral.com
Jonathan makes two very good points. I’ve found over the years working with newbies that enthusiasm and a love for the product or company takes a person way farther than just knowledge. I do believe it’s very important to thoroughly learn about your product and about how your marketing plan works to your greatest advantage. I can do much more with a newbie who has a lot of enthusiasm and some knowledge, rather than someone who has all knowledge and very little enthusiasm.
On learning from your mistakes, we have heard over and over that you have to be “teachable” to do this business. That can apply to learning from your sponsor, but even more to learning from your own successes and failures.
In short, we must love our product/company madly and we must be able to learn from our slips and go forward. If we learn from our slips, but don’t change our actions or attitude, we won’t progress. If we are able to look at a failure, take what we need from the analysis, and use that knowledge to improve ourselves, we’re on our way to success.
JUDY MARSHALL
http://www.judyann.networkmarketingcentral.com
I forgot to say in my comment, WELCOME BACK KIM!
JUDY MARSHALL]
http://www.judyann.networkmarketingcentral.com
I learned first hand how smarts and talent could get in the way of learning from my experiences as a nurse for 19 years.
Being a nurse means always teaching, supporting and maybe precepting new nurses often. This was a learning field where being open to training was paramount; being coachable would save someone’s life.
The nurses who thought they knew it all or remembered being straight ‘A’ students in class were the ones that would make grave mistakes by being cavalier. Instead of asking, they would go ahead and perform a task thinking they knew how to do it. Some instances caused injuries to patients. They were afraid to look like failures.
They were afraid to look like they didn’t understand.
The nurses that were cautious, asked many questions, were teachable and coachable ended up being the best nurses of all. And they weren’t always the smartest ones.
If they answered questions incorrectly and failed at knowing the right answer, they learned from that mistake. This mistake then would not be one made on a patient.
We have an advantage in this industry that we can fail forward and not end up physically injuring someone.
This is something that I also keep telling myself over and over. If I mess up on a call I won’t hurt anyone. I’ll just go to the next call. I’ve done tougher things than this.
It’s a shame that we avoid failure because we are conditioned that failure is bad. So then we avoid doing something that might cause failure. i.e. prospecting calls, calling on customers
We should remember that taking a tumble means getting closer to our goals.
And as leaders of our own businesses we should pass that understanding to our business partners.
When they fail, show enthusiasm. Show them how they can learn from this failure and try again.
Dianna
” . . . people who “know” they’re smart . . . can actually end up losing out to others not as smart.”
I have always suspected that this was true in my traditional J-O-B, but it took me a long while to realize the same was happening when I first got involved with Network Marketing.
“Failure demoralizes people . . . .”
That described my life for the 20 years after being flunked out of law school. Not only was it devastating at the time, but that one failure completely dominated my life and perspective, so much so that I ‘wandered around’ corporate America in countless prominent law firms, for most of my adult life KNOWING I was not where I was supposed to be.
Network Marketing was a challenge because it forced me to finally learn what I am, and am not, really good at. I had to admit that I’m not really good at ‘dumbing it down’ (like traditional jobs would have you do and act). And for the first few years in Network Marketing that was my biggest problem . . . telling all that I knew.
Thankfully, I can honestly say I’m finally figuring it out . . .
Finding Kim’s NMC site has helped me understand that “learning might mean getting better at seeking out the right people (versus banging on the wrong ones), or learning to ask for referrals instead of directly asking everyone you know to buy.” Kim’s referral approach alone has liberated me! I’m not uncomfortable anymore, feeling like I’ll never make it.
Now that I’m much more clear about what I have to offer as an individual, that which I am really good at, my Network Marketing products are easier to talk about because my focus is different.
Thank you SO much for all you do Kim and being that voice in the wilderness!
A Johnson Enterprise
I know I have seen people with incredible talent never develop it because they were already the best in their own mind.
I have also seen people who have had everything come too easy for so long, they didn’t know what to do when things became more challenging.
We must be willing to grow and learn and make mistakes. We must have enough humility to realize we can always learn new things, but enough persistence to stick with it when it becomes more challenging. If it is too easy, we aren’t learning anything.
Brenda Bunney
http://MLMSuccessBunney.com
http://BrendaBunneyMLM.com
brendabunney@yahoo.com
Success and Failure
I am a quote lover ☺
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill
I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Benjamin Franklin
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. Confucius
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. Robert Francis Kennedy
***********
As a psychologist who once worked on teen-age suicide prevention programs – teaching teens about failure and success was an important issue.
Many suicides and attempts came as a result of failing an exam, loss of a relationship, rejection by a “good” college, etc. The common thread was feeling like a failure and for most – it was the first time they had “failed” at something they considered “major.”
Being allowed to face minor failures early on and being encouraged to try self-recovery was something I taught both teens and parents.
Young children can learn to “fail” and “recover” with parental guidance so that they learn that not being able to do something an leads to amazing discoveries about one’s self and the universe and not necessitate a lifetime of doom and gloom.
If parents and teachers always protect kids from failure – the kids do not learn to cope – and yes this includes the parental doing of late homework assignments or writing “excuses” to cover same ☺…..
Same with any business – if someone always bails you out – you do not learn how to do the business on your own.
And maybe we need to stop thinking of words like failure and mistakes…and think about it all as just different learning and growth experiences.
Lynn
grow older better
Pretty people have a tough time making it in this business. By pretty I don’t mean pretty on the outside but pretty on the inside; born with a silver spoon in their mouth, degree from a highly respected university, a family with lots of status, etc. The reason is they usually want to go from step 1 to step 10 and skip everything in between.
Smart people have a tough time too. Always trying to figure out a way to make something better. Go into any real estate, insurance, or investment office, and I guarantee, unless they are doing mandatory floor time, the people sitting in the office are not making any money. But they do make great resources. They often come up with great stuff which I then go out and apply in the field while they are on to improving whatever with the idea that somehow sales will become easier with just a little better product, presentation, whathaveyou.
The average millionaire has gone broke seven times before achieving millionaire status.
According to Tom Stanley, author of The Millionaire Next Door, the average millionaire’s net worth comes from some field that most people would consider low status: like garbage collection, drycleaners, sales, etc.
You gotta fail. That is how you learn. It is what leads to the personal and business transformations so necessary for success in *any* endeavor.
In my spiritual tradition we are encouraged to read the lives of the saints. Why? Because we can then see fleshed out before us how to live a Christian life in real word terms, when the ideal on paper seems so impossible.
It is true in business as well. Reading biographies of people who have experienced great business success is quite helpful, because it exposes us to their failures and the tremendous odds they usually had to overcome to achieve success. There is no reason to expect our trek will be any different.
Every top banana I have ever met paid a price somewhere along the way. Maybe not in network marketing but they paid it somewhere.
One of my heroes in this business is a $3,000,000 a year earner with Primerica. He seemed to have it from the beginning. $35,000 his first year in the business part-time. $70,000 his second year. $450,000 his third year and over $800,000 his fourth year. In his fifth year he had saved over $1,000,000 (note: he and his wife did not upgrade their lifestyle in any way – same small house, same old car, same disposable income – until he had saved enough to begin living off the interest of his investments). I thought that was fantastic until I heard his story and how much failure he had gone through *before* coming to what was then A.L. Williams.
Failure is truly the soil which breeds success.
Michael
http://www.uptownonthebay.biz
http://www.grmbeyond.com
http://www.uptownonthebay.net
http://michael.networkmarketingcentral.com