General

Warning: Do not attempt another diet until you read…

I’m doing a marketing promo for the January Extreme Regime Fat Burn Formula. Starts next week.

I’ll give someone a complimentary $197 Multi Media slot in the program. Here’s what I need:

Which of these two intros catches your interest? Give me your choice and specific reasons.

I’ll announce a winner tomorrow (Sunday) night, before midnight, EST (New York time)

1.Warning: Do not attempt another diet
until you read every word of
this controversial report.”


2. Can a “diet” be this good?

“OMG, our hamburgers are tasting like steak. This tastes like food I used to eat when I was a child,” Carol’s hubby.

“I’ll never go back to the way I used to eat. Never.” Robin

“We are changing our kitchen so we can eat this new way.”
the Frechs.


(Number 2 is one promo intro.)

CONTEST: Which of these two intros catches your interest? Give me your choice and specific reasons. I’ll show you the rest of the winner when it’s ready.

I’ll announce a winner tomorrow (Sunday) night, before midnight, EST (New York time)

P.S. The latest little 4-minute “cleavage” vid I did for this Fat Burn program is here:

And the Fat Burn Formula “What Is It?” vid is here.

P.P.S. If the program intrigues you, put your info in the space provided on either of the vid pages. I’ll get you the goods.

About the author

Kim Klaver

25 Comments

  • #1 is hands down the best. It gets your attention and hints at controversy. The other one is rather bland.

    David Enders, D.C.

  • I would respond to number 1 and would not respond to number 2. Number 2 states right out that you will need to change. Without any information to motivate me to change, I would not look at it. Number 1 peaks my interest…..

  • Kim,

    The first one is what catches my eye more. The psychological impact of “Warning: Do not…” is far greater than the (second) positives. It is said that the two greatest motivators are a desire to move away from pain and to move toward pleasure, with the desire to move from pain greater than the move toward pleasure.

    To me the word “diet” in the first headline is the pain which is then linked with the psychological “Warning: Do Not…” The second could be used as testimonials in a long sales letter (if you were going to use that format) or somewhere else, but the statements don’t grab me like the first and are not strong enough to pull me into the topic deeper (at least compared to the first option).

    Also, as much reading as I’ve done about copywriting, the first one also fulfills one of the formulas that the big guys say really works.

    That’s my $0.02. 🙂

  • Kim-
    No. 1 catches my attention, most definitely. It demands attention with WARNING and makes the information seem very urgent to the reader. My health may be at risk. This report may have information that I am not aware of. It may be new information – they always seem to be coming up with new studies that support or clobber the old “diet/health rules” that we live by. And if there is a new report that contradicts something I do (especially if we were told it was healthy), then by gosh I want to know about it.

    No. 1 is also short and sweet. I can read it in a heart beat. I don’t have to dissect everyword to understand it’s meaning. The bold – and the “Warning” make me stop at that print and want me ready further.

    No. 2 does not demand my attention. It’s a more casual, read at your leisure kind of approach. There is nothing hylighted or bolded. It seems to run on and does not hold my attention. Yeah, yeah, that’s nice, but it does not pull me into the words or make me want to read more.

    Thanks, Kim, for all you do.
    Kat

  • Okay, video one is great from a testimonial angle. The picture of the rough, gruff, lady with the tattoo just was, well, different…it’s burned in my mind. Maybe that was the purpose? LOL I was interested in how she lost the weight, and there was just enough of a tease when it mentioned ‘hamburger tasting like steak’ that you wanted to keep watching. I like that it sounds like it’s a ‘method’ of eating which is so much better than a ‘diet’.

    Video two has the ‘information’ and of course the celebrity endorsement (wink) but is looooooooooong and many may lose interest I caught myself sliding the vid to farther points within the video to see if there was more interesting things being said.

    Video 2 would be WAY better if it included images, words, pictures that held interest and tied into the content being described.

    Either way I am VERY eager to heare MORE on this and I want the web link, the book, etc!

    I personally lost 25# by changing ‘how’ I ate so I KNOW this method works. You can eat way MORE food, if you eat the RIGHT food…

    ~Alethea Anderson
    http://www.aletheaanderson.com

  • I prefer Option 1. Reason because you are offering a report which can be read and considered by the reader. Option 2 is tempting because we all prefer to be recommended something that has been tried and tested, but I am very suspicious of those quoted whether they are really genuine or not.
    Hope this is useful to you.
    Regards
    Sheryl Dutton

  • I like #2 way better. It makes me want to know what this diet is! I want MY hamburgers to taste like steak! And I want to be able to eat hamburgers on a diet. Above all, I want an eating lifestyle change (diet) that is so good that I’ll ‘never go back to my old way of eating’, and #2 shows promise for this.

    #1 sounds like someone promoting their own agenda. #2 is a positive approach for a positive change . . . and it sounds like a change most people are looking for — good food with good results. #2 sounds like a ‘diet’ that won’t feel like you are dieting. Very appealing!

    Rita Goad — rlgoad@gmail.com

  • Dear Kim:

    First of all I hope you and your family are very well, my best wishes.

    The first intro calls for people that is cautions minded and are looking to do diet, don’t really know what to do and are very curious.

    The word ‘warning’ calls for cautions, people that wants to be informed of anything dangerous. So, what do they need to be warning about?… diet, and where they need to look for?… well, in the controversial report. That’s another interesting word, ‘controversial’, some would agree, some don’t. It calls for people that wants to read about the possible disagreement and form their own judgment. I would use only the word ‘warning’ in bold. That way only that part is highlighted. It may scream to much if all phrase is in bold, but brings some importance to what you are looking to show.

    The second intro, calls for people that relates to the testimonies of those three persons that talks about a new way of eating or the way they used to eat. The sentence, Can a “diet” be this good? says something of a ‘diet’ that maybe is good or maybe it isn’t a diet after all and perhaps that’s why the ‘diet’ is so good. And what validates that?… yes, the three testimonies.

    By the way, I really think that both are calling for people that are curious , wants to diet but are looking for something that is unusual.

    If you allow me, the first one is the one I like most because it drives people to see something that it’s or it could be of public disagreement but, this is only an opinion of one of your student.

    Best of lock with this endeavor.

    Yours,

    Edgard

  • I prefer the second one. The first one has been used before for advertising. I would probably skip it. The second is an interesting possibility. Sets one’s mind imaging actually still eating the same food. Not really changing too much.

  • I would go with #2. Any testimonials you can get gives the product(s) more credibility & trust with the customer.

  • I like the second one better. In the first one, once I read the word ‘controversial’ it immediately comes off as contrived and not real.

    The second one is intriguing. What would make a hamburger taste like steak? What is so good about this that Robin would never go back to the way she used to eat? It makes me think, ‘Wow. I may actually be able to do this if this true. This just might be what I’ve been looking for.’

  • I like the first one because it promises something different from all the other diets I have tried. A new breakaway method that offers hope.

    The second one talks a lot about meat which, since I’m a vegetarian, doesn’t hold any positive interest for me. I also don’t see any hint of weight loss there. Just because something tastes good doesn’t mean it’s going to help you in any way.

    Dianna Roberts
    Dianna@doingverywell.net

  • I like option #1 much more because it sounds like you’re getting ready to give some scientific information other than hype. I don’t like #2 because it sounds like hype.

  • Aloha,
    Number one (1)
    That’s my pick. It piques my interest. It makes me want the report and that would get me to give my info for the report.

    Number two (2)
    Turns me off completely. I have enough knowledge about wieghtloss to know I’m not going to be eating burgers and drop pounds. While a report with this title makes me wonder what I might be missing.

    Appreciating you,
    Billy M
    http://www.alifeunlimited.com

  • I wish you well, Kim. I am busy getting ready to market our OsoLean product (when it is released in Canada). Burning fat instead of muscle is so important. Losing inches and not pounds is what it is all about.

  • Definitely #1 for me. Having tried every diet and every pill, I want to read the report to see if it’s really something new. And I want full information on how it works, what you eat, need for lots of exercise, etc. etc. I’m not a fan of testimonials – all the sales pitches now on the internet make them questionable. So, send me the report, and just the facts, Ma’am 🙂 and let me decide!
    Ann Carter annsunvalley@aol.com

  • I like no. 1. It gets my attention and promotes education when people read more. And to get the info people will be added to the email listing which can be vital.

    Kristee

  • No.1 catches my eyes more because it is more catchy, and yet still gives you “What the????” effect in your mind.

    No.2 is rather statements from those people who tried this program.

  • #1 hints at some new information that may be different. Since diets do not work, the new report may offer some “secret” of a successful program. #2 draws the answer, “No this diet is not that good”. Testimonials without contact info or pictures are weak at best.

  • The 2nd header keeps me reading.
    1) It asks a question; the first one is a command and it is not referring to life threatening issues like bad peanut butter or anthrax mail– so it’s too sensational.
    2) People DO diet. Diet as a verb is relevant to millions; they will read.
    3)Word “diet” is considered to be an acceptable, reasonable word in US. The question contains the word “good” — a reasonable, practical word. No sensationalism.
    4) 2nd header offers 3 testimonies–supporting data–and it offers a picture or definition of “good diet.”
    5) Value of testimony #1: People eat (or have eaten) and know the difference between hamburgers and steaks.
    6) Robin’s statement lets the reader know she changed her “eating” and it’s good hers succeeds the hamburger statement because without thinking about it, you know what she is talking about.
    7) Statement 3 might take one by surprise with the word “kitchen” but the last words, “eat this new way”, tells the reader again it is about eating.
    8) In conclusion: I know that people dieted, liked it, I know they did not take pills and the statements reflect eating or food behaviors—no guarantees about losing x number of lbs, in x time period. I also do not immediately think how much this will cost me.
    Bottom line: it’s a question—contains the words “good diet” and lacks sensationalism.

  • Definitely #1. In the day where “they” are discovering new information every other moment, I am compelled to think there may be something new that may really be different than what I have learned before. I especially like the use of the work “attempt” another diet, as we all know that the last diet didn’t work very well.. The word “controversial” is very strong. All in all, for me it is like someone telling me very sternly, authoritarively, and straight from the source of “All Knowingness”!!

  • I like promo #2 the best. Every experienced (and often failed) dieter realizes that “the diet” often fails once it becomes too boring or feels like too much of a sacrifice for the results achieved. That’s when I fall back to what I used to do before the diet that feels comfortable. If I can learn a new way of eating that actually tastes good and still lose weight, I’m all for it!!
    I’m tired of starting and failing just to start all over again later (with even more pounds to lose the next time). I want to lose the weight and keep it off this time.
    And I think a lot of us who have a weight problem feel the same way. We want to lose it once and for all, but not feel deprived in our action of doing so.
    Rosann monty327@juno.com

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