Do you make this “pitch” mistake?

To grab someone’s attention in this noisy world, you’ll need some shock and awe.  Especially on the Internet. That means the words
in your opening lines must not cause eyes to glaze over.

Compare these two openers or ‘pitches’…

Do you know about the pH of water?  Most water
has the
wrong levels of pH and when you add
my product X to
make it more alkaline,
the treated water can actually help you lose weight.


Diet water?  Have you heard about the new diet water?

Which opener gets your curiosity? What makes you scroll down for more?

Here’s another pair:

My product works at the cellular level.


My wrinkles smoothed out in a week.

Which gets your curiosity up more?

If you’re like me, and the second example in each pair evokes interest way more
than the first. Here’s the rule:

Do not lead with the explanation of how your product works.  Lead with what it
has done for you (or is designed to do).  If someone is interested in “diet water”?
or “smooth skin in a week” they’ll ask you about how it works.

Not the other way around.

Next: How to tell your story without getting in trouble with the new FTC regs.

PS You have to sell good stuff for this to work.  If they go online and see bad
reviews, you won’t get many sales or signups.

About the author

Kim Klaver


  • Hey Kim!

    I was actually interested in the first example about the water but that’s probably because I use reverse osmosis water and I’m always open to better water…. But not the diet part so it’s not a fit after all.

    Now the second example I was lost and didn’t want to know anymore about something working at the cellular level… What does that even mean??? But, something for wrinkles, I’m all ears 🙂

    Now to work on mine. Luckily I have your books to help:)

  • Excellent Kim… Thanks!!

    That’s basically the same type of story I heard years ago about the sales person at the hardware store.

    The customer doesn’t really want a drill, they want a hole… so sell them the right drill and anything else they need to make that hole exactly the right size and depth they need.

  • Hi Kim:

    I guess all depends on the person. If the person already takes vitamins and it is looking for something better,then science based knowledge would be very useful. Or if they are olympics athletes,we could say that those products would passed any olympic drug test and here is the proof.–(Grade Manufacturing Product). I am always looking to cut through the hyperbole with facts and scientific support.

    • I don’t think many people buy based on science, without asking first what results someone has had with it. After all, who
      cares about the science of anything if it doesn’t work and help a person feel better or do something better than before?

  • Hi Kim,
    Loved the info! Reminds me of Stephen Covey’s first of the seven habits; begin with the end in mind. Why tell people what you have, until you know where they want to go? The easiest way to find out is as you say see who has the same name as you. Example: “I found the most delicious tasting smoothie that help me lose weight and I wasn’t hungry.”
    This will appeal to smoothie lovers wanting to lose weight are afraid of dieting because they always get hungry. Keep the good stuff coming.

  • I just posted this on FB:
    I just had the BEST dental appointment in 20+ years! And it has been 5 years since I’ve seen one! My farsightedness has improved too. I can see better without my glasses! My hair is thicker and not receding any more. My skin is healthier with less wrinkles. I walk without a limp. I feel 35! And most of you think Univera products are too expensive. Best investment I ever made!

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