Feeling offended leads us to do dumb things. Here’s an instant fix I’m practicing now.
Mr. G went to see the editor of a local newspaper to pitch him his idea for an editorial article that he hoped the editor would write up in his newspaper.
The editor kept him waiting for an hour, during which time others who wanted to see the editor came and went. Finally, it was his turn. Mr. G tells us:
“He would not so much as look at me… On my venturing to broach my subject after the long wait, the editor said: ‘Don’t you see our hands are full? There is no end to the number of visitors like you. You had better go. I am not disposed to listen to you.’
“For a moment, I felt offended, but I quickly understood the editor’s position…I could see there was a regular stream of visitors there…they were all acquainted with him. His paper had no lack of topics to discuss, and mine was hardly known at that time.”
Mr. G’s attitude kept him from feeling offended, getting discouraged and perhaps giving up. He explains:
“However serious a grievance may be in the eyes of the man who suffers from it, he will be but one of the numerous people invading the editor’s office, each with a grievance of his own. How is the editor to meet them all?…
“But I was not discouraged. I kept on seeing editors of other papers…” and others “realized the importance of my [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][issue] and they published my interviews in full.” – M.K. Gandhi, An Autobiography.
Isn’t it the same when we want to introduce our product or business to someone with a wide sphere of influence? Are there not many folks lined up to see such a person?
It’s so easy to feel offended when they won’t see you. But it’s better to find a way to get over it quickly, so your own offended state doesn’t keep you back.
Mr. G’s strategy which I am practicing: Take no offense, ever. Think from THEIR point of view. Do not even try to convert. Go to the next one.
P.S. For Twitter followers: A similar “I felt offended” event made news around the Twitter world yesterday. Actor Stephen Fry, with 942,803 followers (!!) offered to QUIT writing on Twitter on the spot. Because. Someone said he was – ready for this? Boring. The sequence:
Mr. Fry to fellow who called him ‘er, a bit boring’ on Twitter:
1. “You’ve convinced me. I’m obviously not good enough. I retire from Twitter henceforward. Bye everyone.”
2. “Think I may have to give up on Twitter. Too much aggression and unkindness around. Pity. Well, it’s been fun.”
Mr. Fry expressed second thoughts the next day:
“Well maybe I’ll see how I feel in a few days. Very low and depressed at the moment and any drop of meanness makes it so much worse. Sorry.”
With only kind words for the gent who called him boring:
“Arrived in LA feeling very foolish. Wasn’t the fault of the fellow who called me “boring”, BTW. A mood thing. Sunshine will help. So sorry.”
And then Mr. Fry pleaded with his followers to stop banging on that guy:
“Feeling terrible for that poor guy.He had every right to call me boring.Not his fault it caught me at a vulnerable time. Pls be nice to him.”
Mr. Fry is now live on Twitter again, making his nearly million readers very happy. And showing us all how vulnerable we humans are, how easily we take personal offense, when we only think of ourselves and our own point of view.
P.S. Twitter lovers can follow Mr. Fry and/or see his notes here. And yes, I’m on Twitter too, here[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
Wise advice…I need it.
Kim don't forget that Stephen Fry suffer from bi-polarism which in effect puts one, at times, in a very unresourceful state. I suffer from the same illness and I've mad rash decisions in the past which I have regretted deeply.
I've been obliged to pare down some commitments recently as I took on too much, but nearly flipped when someone wrote something to me on a forum. I took 10 minutes to cool down before retorting and I'm glad I did.
I can't seem to be able to do twitter and facebook at the same time. I find facebook a bit better and twitter too 'disconnected'. Some people are using it like a messenger but it can't be used that way really more like sending text messages to the internet hoping for a reply somewhere.
Fabrizio:
Yep I know Mr. Fry said he's bipolar. However, we don't need to be bipolar to empathize with the blood boiling reactions all humans have when another person belittles them, their work, their point of view, their looks, their religion, or belittles anything or anyone else that is dear to them.
Isn't that the root cause of all war?
I really liked this post Kim because from my former experience in MLM I saw many people use the rejection of "the one" be their reason for quitting. It can be devastating to be ignored or told no by someone you respect…if you let it be. What a wonderful way to look at it – from the other persons' point of view while taking no offense.
But how do you take no offense? It is easy to say and much harder to do. I think Mr. G had something more going on that made him able to do so, don't you? 😉 This is where the 'personal development' aspect comes in and why it is so vital to success in network marketing or whatever you are pursuing.
Thanks,
Tracy
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