"I spent 30 hours talking to the guy and at the last minute…

“…at the last minute, his wife said ‘no.’ I’ve spent over $10,000 on leads and trainings this year, and this is the last investment I am making in the business.”

So lamented Frank Z., a gent on yesterday’s conference call with a group of us.

Everyone felt sorry for him. After all, 30 hours IS a lot of time to spend with someone, and then have the wife apparently pull the rug out at the last minute is not a good feeling.

Here’s the exchange that followed between Frank and me:

KIM: Frank, when he finally said ‘no,’ had he been using the product?


K: Did he have the product at home?

F. No. I was trying to get him to try it – I even offered to send him a unit (air filtration) to try, with no obligation!

K: What did you tell him the business was about?

F: Getting dealers. Just like I’m trying to do. I’ve been calling radio leads for months and haven’t gotten anyone. NO ONE.

K: And what do yo tell the radio leads they will be doing? What do they think the businesss is about?

F: Well same as me – getting dealers. That’s what I’m doing.

Do you see at least one problem I see?

Would you sign up (or encourage your partner to do so) and invest money to be dealer for something if you are not familiar with the product, and haven’t tried it?

But, Frank says, he’s doing and saying what his upline and the leads company told him – the one he bought his radio leads from. And since he IS calling prospects who are said to be looking for a business opportunity, isn’t this the way to do it?

What would you recommend Frank do now?

Post your suggestions below, where it says “comments.”

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About the author

Kim Klaver


  • Hi Frank!

    I used to spend lots of time talking to a lot of people and getting nonproductive results very similar to what you just described.

    I kept hearing talk about the importance of ‘getting into relationship’ with people so naturally I thought all that time spent was the thing to do in order to get the results I wanted. But since that wasn’t happening I knew I needed to change something.

    I took a look at how I had conversations with my friends (since that was usually fun and successful :-)) and discovered a few things…

    we often recommend things to one another…

    we only recommend things when the conversation leads to it naturally, which essentially means that the conversation seems to indicate that the recommendation would be appreciated.(Of course we may start conversations with a share about something but that would only happen as a result of knowledge gleaned from earlier conversations and experiences with one another)…

    and finally, we typically recommend something we’ve actually experienced and enjoyed for one reason or another. (If we’re suggesting something we are simply interested in experiencing we make that known upfront when inviting the other to join us).

    Well, I quickly realized that I was going nowhere with my business even though I was giving people LOTS of time because I wasn’t finding out what I needed to know from them and I wasn’t authentically sharing anything meaningful with them!

    Wow! I discovered I needed to find something about this that I actually enjoyed and had experienced for myself and then simply listen for others who I might connect with around that!

    The easiest and most natural thing to focus on was my product. Funny thing there, I was involved with a company whose product I, personally, enjoyed but I didn’t particularly enjoy talking about it with others.

    Then I purchased a product from a friend of mine and I was so jazzed about it and I find it such fun that it’s a natural thing for me to share with others.

    All sorts of amazing and wonderful things have resulted from this shift… not the least of which is I’m finally in business!!! I have real and regular customers, many of whom keep spreading the word for me! And of course, when they do I can’t help but share with them that they could be earning money too.

    But whether that attracts them or not simply no longer matters because we all win either way— I sell a great, fun product and they get the benefits of using it!

    So Frank… what exactly do you have to share? What’s the thing you appreciate most about it? And who are the kind of people who might want it and why?

    Spend your time talking only about it to those people and I bet you’ll experience different results!

    Let it be fun!

    Mary K Weinhagen
    Send Out Cards

  • 30 hours is about 29 hours too much, Frank. It’s OK if they’re not ready to make a decision, but don’t let a prospect(suspect) drag you down that road. If they can’t make a decision to try the product then move on. They might be ready later, but obviously not right now. I’ve had a lot of those wafflers too and I’ve resolved not to invest too much time in waffleville any more. Good luck, Frank

  • Hi Kim,

    Happy New Year to you and your readers!

    I see Frank as having two challenges

    First I suspect that he is not helping his prospect to clearly identify their true “want” or “why” for starting a business.

    If a prospect tells me he/she wants to make more money that is not specific enough. I ask more questions. How much money do you want to make? and What will you do with this money? Once I have a specific “want” then I can decide if I can help my prospect to get that “want” by joining my business. If I can I continue to follow up with this prospect.

    My second suggestion for Frank is to see if the prospect has an interest in the product or service his business offers. Here I suggest he use scripting from your books and teleclasses Kim.

    “My company is introducing a product for people who…”. briefly explain his experience with the product. Then ask the prospect if they would like to try it “….to see if it works for them like it did for (him)”.

    Some prospects will become customers first. Some of these customers will fall in love with the product the same way Frank did and decide do the business. Either way Frank makes money and he won’t waste time with prospects that aren’t serious about building a business.

  • Dear Frank,
    I would encourage you to change your approach by trying the product yourself! Find what “you” love about this air filtration and lead with what Kim calls your “hot button”!

    Example: I market a product for someone who feels the air they breath in their home is not safe and wants to do something about it like I did.

    About a year ago, I started having trouble with headaches after opening up the windows for what I thought was fresh air to circulate the stale air that comes from winter closure. One day I decided to try this product, and about a month later I noticed after taking a deep breath that the air actually seemed fresh without having to open up the smog from outside. It’s been about 6 months now, and I don’t have the headaches and sinus pains like I used to.

    Do you know anyone who might like to know about a product like this?

  • Hi Frank!
    I wonder if you have uncovered a need in this man life that can be met with the product you sell? Have you asked enough questions so that they tell you their need and then do you share your experience with the product and why you use it? Could what happened with you also happen with your friend?
    I also wonder if the wife is the one who makes the decisions about money in his family? You see he maybe sold but she is not even close.
    Just some thoughts and I hope all the best with your business…

  • Hi Frank!
    Great comments. I’d like to add: it seems to me that a prospect needs to know what kind of business he/she is getting into. Although ‘getting dealers’ may be an important part of being successful, it is also important to provide a unique product or service to people.

    You should believe in your product/s and your business, and be geniunely interested in the people you meet. Most people (including me) can tell when they’re being “sold” something, and get turned off. Instead, try to think ‘what is important to this person & how can I help her achieve it?’

    Have a wonderful & successful New Year!
    Janet Roberts

  • Dear Frank,

    Life is an adventure, isn’t it? There’s always the opportunity for learning new things and re-inventing oneself.

    I once heard someone say that there are jobs, there are careers, and there are callings. A job is something you simply do for money and don’t have to enjoy. A career is something you are good at, and often are well compensated for. A calling is something that speaks to your heart, and you would do anyway, with getting paid – an added bonus.

    I tell you this because I have found that in living from the center of who you are, there is a place of integrity that people recognize and want to be part of. Doing work that is in alignment with who you are as a person is one of the best ways I know to be sucessful at it.

    So I ask you, who are you? What do you love? What are your talents, your strengths, your passion? Speak from that place. Make your introduction to healthier air your gift to the world. Share the information, planting seeds of possibility in people’s lives, being sensitive and respectful… attending to those seeds that have taken root.

    In an old Spanish poem it says: Drop petals of your essence in the cup of another’s frivolity. If they pick up a petal to partake of it’s fragrance, reveal the entire flower. But should they ignore your offering, gently gather your gift, so as not to disturb them, and quietly go on your way.

    Blessing on your endeavors!


  • Dear Frank,

    Take heart. All is not lost. From what I could hear last week, you have have lots of PASSION… Give me passion over skills any day. Skills can be taught. Passion you either have or don’t have.

    Frank, if you love your air filters, talk about THAT. Take the 3-scripts course from Kim. Learn HOW to talk about your passion.

    After the course, if you REALLY want to, go back to the fellow and his wife. Talk with them TOGETHER. Say, “I am so sorry. Mrs. Smith, no wonder you had your doubts about your husband getting involved with me. Here I was trying to get him into and ‘ARRANGED MARRIAGE’ with my air filter business, when he had not yet the chance to fall in LOVE!”

    “Personally, this is why I fell in love with these air filters (say WHY you fell in love) — so much so, that I decided to make a business of it, so that others could have these benefits as well. Do you know anyone who might want to experience these benefits for themselves?”

    If the couple says, “Well, when you say it that way, WE might be interested,” then Frank could say….

    “Oh, YOU might want these benefits? Great, then. Let’s get you started. Later, IF you like this filter system even half as much as I do, we can talk about how you might make a business of this, like I am doing. Until then, l will show you how to get the most benefit out of this air filtration system.”

    Of course, after taking Kim’s course, Frank may want to move on to fresh people, and leave the prospect and his wife alone, perhaps until Frank is making some money. I have heard it said in our industry that “It is easier to give birth than to resurrect the dead.” If this couple really is “dead,” let them rest in peace!

    In any case, there is much to learn, and so much potential, Frank. Don’t give up until you have given yourself the right TOOLS to build what you so earnestly want to build.



  • I just wanted to say a big Thank You for all of you who posted comments on this subject. I learned so much from hearing it discussed from your different perspectives. I have one of your books, Kim and I find it helps to read ‘real-life’ examples to cement the points you make in the book. Lorraine.

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