Are we that desperate to believe we matter?

An observant blogger noted that Facebook’s big play for putting tens of millions of ads on its member profiles is “a drug for the strung-out advertisers of the world” who are “desperately in need of a hit of something to make them believe they matter again.”

Advertisers are desperate. They’ll do anything to reach us, including popping up in all the wrong places at all the wrong times. I don’t care about new golf clubs or the latest Ford truck. Where’s that cool new tennis racquet?

No one seems to know or care how to find their audience. Nearly all advertisers and sellers (except the Google ad types) slam us all with everything they have 24/7. And most of us are sick of it and tune it out as just so much noise.

Are we guilty of doing the same thing to others as the advertisers? Are we, like them, that desperate to believe we matter?

About the author

Kim Klaver


  • Yes and no, it really depends on how you are reaching out to people. If you’re marketing is like your description of Facebook or you’re following the 3 foot rule (approaching anyone within three feet) or worse – going with the idea that if they fog a mirror they are your prospect…

    If your approach sounds close to those things above and/or you basically spam the net, the answer would be yes.

    If you’re like me, you started out this way because you were taught to do so, but quickly realized that you didn’t want to hard sell family, or your beloved blog traffic on your latest and greatest opportunity. Let alone every person you saw throughout the day…

    When I put my foot down I began to gather tools, techniques and methods to build on what my mentors taught me. Today I have an ever growing system which brings interested people to me rather than me spamming the net for a few clicks.

    To get back to your original question. I really do believe that in the beginning we believe in these things we are told because we want to be perceived as important, we want to feel powerful and to feel we matter. The problem is, those things are already true–long before we signed up for a business. The business doesn’t validate our existence.. how we live does.

  • I’ll say ‘sure’.

    Most NM-ers take themselves wa-a-ay too seriously, over-rating the import of themselves, their company, product, program etcetera and often become over-bearing (just like my self-indulgent preachy posts).

    Lighten up and prosper.

  • You may be overlooking an important point…

    The reason Facebook-type deals are so valuable to advertisers is precisely because advertisers can place ads which are far more targeted to the viewers. User profiles and surfing history reveal lots about their wants and needs, likes and dislikes. For example, a user whose profile and history shows that she is 18 and downloads lots of songs is far more likely to see an ad for the latest “hot” designer jeans than a 60yo user who has obviously been doing research on impotence. (Prime candidate for a Viagra ad.)

    Sophisticated online advertisers pay for ads to very narrow niches, not for the blanket ads of prime-time TV. The real lesson here may be that Madison Avenue understands the truth of what you, Kim, have been preaching…look for other weirdos…people who, by their interests and passions, demonstrate that they are candidates for a your product. Don’t waste time on people that don’t fit.

  • Years ago a marketing expert told me, “If you try to appeal to everyone, you will appeal to NO-one.”

    That’s just as true for network marketing.

    Find people who want what you’ve got (i.e. be clear on your target market), then you won’t get rejected as often.


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