I think the building of “relationships” – so you can
sell them – is not only bad karma, but in many cases,
If you’re from the old school and have been trained to feign
interest in new people so you can FORM them, you probably
know this trick doesn’t work like before. (Women – 80% of the
NM business – are especially sensitive to this ploy.)
Once others sense the false interest, word spreads. Soon that
network of folks stays away from you.
(FORM – You’re trained to ask questions about their Family,
Occupation, Recreation or Money looking for dissatisfaction.
Act as if you care about them. The minute they reveal an area of
dissatisfaction – and who doesn’t have some in one of these
areas – you pounce and offer your biz opp as a solution. Oi vey.)
Building ‘agendized relationships’ or genuine ones takes time, and
while genuine relationships are always good, you don’t need
them to find interested people and make sales.
What you need is an audience.
An audience for your “show” or demo. You don’t need a special
relationship with them to get that. ‘Special’ meaning where
you get all personal about their problems and how you can
Say you go to a Cirque du Soleil event. The cast doesn’t get chummy
with the audience and ask what their problems are or how they can
help you. You are an audience. You’ve paid your money to see and
hear. And you enjoy it or not, and give them good word of mouth, or not.
Finding an audience is quicker AND more fun than building
relationships based on FORM. More freeing, too. Here’s an example.
I used to bowl in college. I’m thinking of taking it up again now.
If I go to a good bowling club, it will be 1) to do something I haven’t
done in years that I remember liking and 2) I’ll have an audience.
Here’s what I mean.
When you meet new peeps doing something you all enjoy,
what are the customary questions?
“Where you from?” “What do you do?”
I can hear what they do, and I might tell what I do. Or, suggest I
contact them later. Get their contact info, phone, email, address, etc.
Call them later in the week, and show them what I do. No biggie.
Do a demo or tell a fun story. No stress. I do my 2-3 minute
show or demo. The person was my audience.
I don’t need to make them focus on their problems, or feign interest
in their issues so I can make a sale. We answer each other’s
customary question when we meet people, namely, “What do you do?”
I’m expanding my contacts and my social life right now so
I can do my “show” or demo more. Expanding my audience.
To do that, I’m choosing activities I enjoy, so I know I’ll have a
good time doing it with the others who like it too.
Bottom line: Expand your social network so you have an
audience for your ‘show’ or demo. No need to feign interest in
all their problems. (You’ll probably get an earful anyway…sigh)
And if you discover a right person because of your demo or show,
THAT connect will be the beginning of a REAL relationship because
of the shared values. That’s when they might begin asking questions
that lead to a genuine relationship. Think?
PS Will let you know how it goes.